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On this episode, I am talking to Kathy from Bliss Beyond Naptime, where she teaches moms to coach other moms through a 12-week certification program to become a coach. Kathy is also a wife, mother and mama bliss coach herself.
I was very excited to bring on Kathy for two reasons. One, she is so much fun to talk to and two, she is really good at what she does as a coach. And I am sure you will agree too.
Being a mom can be tough. Many times as moms we work so hard to be the best mom for our kids that we tend to neglect ourselves or put ourselves last. As a result, time passes and you feel like you don’t know what to do.
Kathy uses a beautiful example of the smokiness of wildfires. With the thick smoke, you are not able to see clearly. Sometimes this can bring on anxiety or fearfulness.
At this moment Kathy tells us to “just take a moment to pause, take a deep breath in, and then just tap into that inner knowing of this is who I am no matter what.
And I’m just gonna take a moment to replenish myself in whatever way I know like no one knows, but me. Then draw those boundaries around me and then just wait until the moment comes where the clarity or whatever else that is that you want to invite back to your days can be available again.”
The one question to help you find clarity
I read an interesting article about finding clarity from another coach.
He mentioned that most of his clients feel as if they have more money, their life would be significantly better. He asked a series of hypothetical questions and showed that money is not the issue.
Because I knew Kathy has worked with many clients in the past, she must have a series of questions she asks to help her clients find clarity.
To my surprise, she only has one question.
“What has worked in the past to bring you clarity?”
Before you answer the question, take some time to really think about it. This could be before you had kids.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”If you are stuck in a rut and need clarity, ask yourself this question … What worked in the past to bring me clarity?” quote=”If you are stuck in a rut and need clarity, ask yourself this question … What worked in the past to bring me clarity?” theme=”style2″]
Or when you were in a similar situation where you felt just felt like I don’t know what to do next or what my life purpose is.
There may be another “period in your life when it was perhaps a transitional time or time to make a big decision or if you felt that there was no time to do anything.
So everything just got muddled. What has worked in the past or perhaps even when you felt stronger?”
Think about how were things last year. Was there something in particular that helped you get clarity during that time?
Sometimes just doing small things like taking a shower or it could be something big, like going away for the holidays.
Kathy also encourages to stay in communication with your husband, partner, or support system when asking yourself these questions. This can help you get back on track to finding your purpose and pursuing your dreams.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Sometimes taking a long shower or getting away for the weekend can give you the time to get some clarity on your life.” quote=”Sometimes taking a long shower or getting away for the weekend can give you the time to get some clarity on your life.” theme=”style2″]
What is mama bliss?
During our chat, Kathy mentions mama bliss often. Even when you go to her website or Facebook page you will see the term mama bliss.
I just had to know, what is mama bliss? Kathy made it very simple when she said that mama bliss is “the opposite of your worse moment.”
You know. Like when you are exhausted, cranky because you haven’t had enough sleep or time to yourself. Or it could like you being impatient, anxious or fearful. Mama bliss would be the complete opposite of this.
Kathy gives her personal example of feeling the guilt of being snappy and rushing the kids out of the house and then having to apologize because she felt terrible.
Kathy likes to encourage her clients and students to reinforce mama bliss by practicing the 4 pillars. These four pillars are self-care, creative play, declaring values and simplicity.
I asked Kathy to break down self-care because there is a misconception of what self-care really is.
Because Kathy is so awesome she has an easy acronym for self-care. The acronym is SHOES.
The first S is for sleep.
Are you getting enough sleep? Are you getting a good quality of sleep?
Sleep is just as important as eating healthy and exercising regularly. Sleep deprivation is connected to poor performance at work, obesity, diabetes and heart disease.
Yes, I know it is hard to get enough sleep when you have a newborn. But if your children are older and you are staying up late after they are sleeping you are missing out on some time that you can get some extra sleep.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep is just as important as eating healthy and exercising regularly.” quote=”Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep is just as important as eating healthy and exercising regularly.” theme=”style2″]
H is for H2O.
Are you getting enough water? Drinking water to replace the water loss during the day to day activities is important.
O is for organic living.
Kathy doesn’t mean buying expensive groceries, “but just being aware of what’s going into your body and what you’re applying on your body.”
But even bigger than that is getting outside and enjoying the outdoors.
E is for exercise.
Are you getting some movement every day? It could be something as simple as taking a walk.
The last S is for stillness.
“Do you have time just to, just to like a daydream and to lie down on your bed by yourself or to meditate or just not have to talk to anyone and just sit and just be a little slack-jawed.”
Be sure to celebrate what you are doing well. Then work on what you need to incorporate more of.
Remember to take a look down at your SHOES daily.
What is Kathy up to?
Kathy shares with us two things. At home, her blinds aren’t going up all the way.
She has learned that her husband is not as handy and is going to call someone to fix her blinds.
I was cracking up when she told me that there is a local business called the “Blind Man” that fixes blinds.
I’m a bit of a cornball and immediately thought of someone who is blind when she said, blind man. I love the name and think the person that owns the business is brilliant!
Secondly, Mama Bliss Coaching School is open for applications! If you have thought about becoming a coach this is an awesome program you must consider.
Kathy has specially designed this 12-week program that includes everything you need to learn how to be a coach and start your own coaching business through various exercises, hands-on training with Kathy and much more.
For more information about the coaching program and how to register, go to Mama Bliss Coaching School.
Be sure to visit Kathy’s website, Bliss Beyond Naptime and get some of the freebies if you are interested in becoming a coach. You can also check out her Facebook page and Facebook group, Mama Bliss in Life and Biz.
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Laura @ Cheered on Mom says
Self care and keeping healthy is so important to enjoying my life as a mom. I’ve been stressed lately, and this was an awesome reminder. Love these tips and thoughts! xo
Laura, you are right! I am glad that you were able to to get a reminder from Kathy. 🙂 She always gives great tips and advice.
Thanks for stopping by!
Kathy Stowell says
Thank you SO much for having me on your delightful show Toni-Ann! You are a gem 🙂
Thank you, Kathy!! I appreciate your time to share all of the valuable information. Plus, you are so much fun to talk to.
Love..Love..Love this article! I’m a new mommy (my baby is 14 months old). I am now realizing that I need to take time out for myself. After having my son, I reached a point where I felt like I didnt care about my appearance anymore. I was letting myself go and I could care less. Recently (as in three weeks ago), I decided that I was not going to allow myself to continue in that rut. Over the past two weeks, I’m taking a few minutes out for myself and I’m noticing that its making a huge difference. I feel good and I have an extra pep in my step.
Shatoria, I know exactly how you feel. I was there when I had my first son. Except I was probably a little worst because someone asked me what I liked to do for fun and I couldn’t answer the question. That was the day that I realized that I let myself go … really bad. I am glad that you have been able to take a few minutes for yourself every day. It can be really hard as a mom to stop and care for yourself, but it is necessary. I am so glad that you found this post. Don’t forget to check your SHOES regularly. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Whitney Kutch says
What a great episode! While I’m not a mom myself, I have plenty of mommy friends and I’ll be sure to share this with them!
Thank you! This is a fun one. Kathy always has great information that applies to women in general. Thanks for sharing!
This is so, so important! I sometimes have a really hard time finding that happy spot so this is really helpful, thank you! XO
I know I struggle too. But with Kathy’s tips, it is making it a lot easier. Thanks for stopping by!
SHOES…I love it! That’s an amazing way to remember to embark on taking care of yourself and finding clarity and mama bliss!
Yes! When Kathy gave this acronym I instantly knew I had no more excuses because it is so easy to remember. LOL. I love that Kathy made it simple and practical.
Abigail Cain says
I’ve found self care is the best way to achieve that happy spot! I love to get a pedicure and massage every couple months. I feel so refreshed!
It took me a while to figure that out myself. A while ago my best friend told me that I needed to go and get a pedicure at least once a month. My initial reaction was I can’t afford it. Which was not true, but I was used to making excuses. Now, every payday I am in the nail salon! Getting my nails done makes me feel pretty and special. I am working on getting a massage more often because it does help me feel more refreshed.
Honeycomb Moms says
This was really helpful. I always stress how important sleep is. Dangerous mistakes can happen when you’re exhausted.
Thanks. Yes, sleep is very important. I was reading that mom with lack of sleep and driving groggy is just as bad and deadly as driving under the influence. I was scared when I read this because there was a time I wasn’t getting much sleep because of my little guys.
Cindy Koenig says
Thanks for this post! I definitely need to work on getting more sleep AND exercise!
This was a fun topic to talk about with Kathy and later write about. You are not alone. Sleep and exercise are two things, as Kathy would say, I’m a little wobbly in.
Jyoti kiran says
Love your article. So informative for the users.
Thank you so much!