You sneak away to get a few minutes of quiet time or you leave to go to the gym. Then it sneaks in. Mom guilt!
It never fails. Mom guilt will always find a way to come in and get you feeling down. Especially when you feel like you have failed as a mother.
The good news is you are not alone! Moms everywhere deal with mom guilt.
Now you may be wondering “how do you deal with mom guilt?”
I am glad you asked. I have 23 awesome moms that shared when the feel mom guilt and how they deal with it to help you the next time mom guilt tries to get you down.
Anna | MamiMalista
I usually feel mom guilt when I feel like I am neglecting my kids. For example, when I am focusing on my blog. I feel like I am not spending enough time with my kids and I am not being the mom they need. I deal with mom guilt by writing. Writing has helped me to express myself and be able to examine the root of my feelings.
Leighann | Leighann Marquiss
I work from home so juggling having little kids here or when my big kids come home from school and I’m still finishing up a project can be difficult. I used to feel guilty that I had to tell them to wait or couldn’t give them my full attention all the time. Then I realized this is actually teaching them valuable characteristics like patience and respect for others.
Jennifer | Teach.Workout.Love
I usually feel mom guilt when I have to leave early for work and can’t pick up my daughter from daycare. I always feel bad missing out on the drop off and pick up when I am busy with work.
Jasmine | Love, Life, Laugh, Motherhood
When mom guilt when I feel frustrated – Moms are “supposed” to be perfect, but it’s really okay when we aren’t! I just try to remember that even the ones who seem to have it all together get frustrated too.
Anna | Abrazo and Coze
I feel mom guilt primarily when I think my kids might not be getting as much attention as they want from me, or when I can’t fulfill their every desire. I deal with the guilt by reminding myself that children throughout time have shared parental attention with siblings and it teaches patience to wait. And that if I did fulfill their every desire, they’d grow up to be insufferable, entitled adults.
Amy | Daily Successful Living
Ironically enough one of my biggest moments of mom guilt came when I found myself judging another moms parenting skills. I swore I would never be “a judgmental mom” and was so full of mom guilt when I had my moment. I decided that I was going to learn from the experience. So my best advice is be supportive and inclusive of other moms rather then continue to be judgmental.
Julie | Fab Working Mom Life
I feel mom guilt the most when needing to get child care outside daycare hours. I feel like he’s already in care all week so I shouldn’t be leaving him during weekends, but sometimes it is necessary. I try not to do it often but sometimes the husband and I need some time with our adult friends without a kiddo tagging along.
Latasha | @latashakennedy
I usually feel mom guilt when the kids and I are home together and I still have work to finish. Even though they’re happily doing activities that they love, a part of me feels like I should be with them. So I’m intentional about carving out specific time to connect and enjoy family time. Also, I remind myself that everyone in our home deserves to do what they love – including mommy.
McKinzie | Today Mommy
Comparison is the thief of joy and social media can bring on mom guilt faster than anything. If I see a mom with an amazing meal that their toddler actually ate while my kiddo is eating pb&j for the 8th day in a row I start to have those feelings creep in. For me, I will take a break from social media and go do something fun with my kiddo that I know they love.
Mallory | Mom of WAR, Hear My Roar
I work and I’m in a Master’s program. I feel mom guilt when my job and school cut into activities at preschool. My oldest starts kindergarten this year, so it will only get worse. When I can’t go, I feel like the worst mom! I visualize being the only mom not there. I deal with the guilt by understanding the examples I am setting for them. Examples of bettering yourself and commitment.
Norshafa | The Journey of a Simple Girl
I feel mom guilt everyday when I come home from work. Especially when I come home at my son’s bedtime. I deal with it by making sure I do plenty of activities with him during weekends.
Poovanesh | FamilyGrowthLife
I feel mom guilt when I have a date with my girlfriends planned – maybe a spa day, lunch or high tea. I make up for it by ensuring I have prepared a home cooked meal before I leave. Sometimes I bring back a take away.
Saranya | One fine wallet
As a work at home mom, the “mommy guilt” gets to me alot! Although I spend the day working with my toddlers at home, I find myself plugged into the computer all the time – which they don’t enjoy. So now, I have a system in place where I study my kids daily routines and fit my work hours to suit them. This way I am being a mommy first, before being a mompreneur!
Felicia | Felicia Wright
I feel guilty when my girls want to play with me while I am working. Sometimes I feel really bad about it. To deal with it I carve out specific times to play with them. So I can look at my calendar and see when I played with them. Makes me feel better.
Katie | Homespun Habits
Every day!!!! Mom guilt is real y’all! Between working full time, teaching an online class, and running a blog my attention isn’t always 100% on the kids. It can really get in my head. I have to constantly remind myself that all of their needs are taken care of, they are loved beyond measure, and they get PLENTY of TLC. Ultimately I hope they recognize that hard work and dedication pays off.
Jess | Explore Life Moore
Mom guilt has a way of creeping into the quite moments. When I check on the girls at night, tucked peacefully in bed, my mind seems to like to replay every little moment where I could have done better that day. I deal with it by counting my blessings, taking a deep breath and reminding myself that tomorrow I get to parent again, I can improve and change, I’m a work in progress – just like my kids!
Tiffany | The Crazy Shopping Cart
Many times this mom guilt happens because I’m focused on myself and I miss someone being injured or sad. I’m blogging, or I am grumpy with them interrupting for minor things, then 5 minutes later I’m mad at them for interrupting but it was for something major. I deal with it by talking with my husband (and in prayer with God). I confess my selfishness make goals on how to do better next time.
Bekah | Little Messy Hands
I feel mom guilt after I loose my patience with my daughter, then I think “she is just 2, she isn’t an inconvenience, she is just living and being 2.” I also feel a TON of mom guilt after I put her to bed. I feel like I didn’t play with her enough or I yelled too much that day. Or I didn’t just enjoy her and her company that day.
Stephanie | Actively Momming
My husband and I both work full time and our daughter spends 9+ hour days at daycare during the week. I feel mom guilt about the amount of time she spends away from family. I often get told that I should be a stay at home mom. That is not possible to support our lifestyle and goals. To deal with guilt I try to stay positive and focus on our goals. I also stay very connected with the daycare.
Liane | Tales of a Scrunchy Mom
My kids are tweens and teens now and tend to need me less but mom guilt does still come up from time to time. Particularly on my long working days, when I’m not able to be present for them until later in the evening and our conversations feel shallow and rushed with little meaningful connection. To balance this I schedule regular mom-son and mom-daughter dates each week. A fun activity of their choosing.
Sarah | Whimsical Mumblings
I feel mom guilt when my kids cry when I drop them off at nursery. It’s at least once a week, and I know they will be perfectly happy and fine – they always stop crying the second I leave, but it makes me feel SO guilty. I often have a little cry myself once I’ve left!
Rachel | Rachel Maree
All the time! 🙂 I feel guilty when I drop my children off to childcare. I feel guilty for dropping them off, and then feel even more guilty for being relieved and excited for some child free time (even if it is to go to work)! To try cope with the guilt I focus on the photos and stories childcare send to me. Both my children look happy, contented and like they are having fun.
Ashley | Mommy Daze: Say What??
When I don’t feel well and just need 10 minutes to myself. Then I feel guilty when I hear them knocking on my bedroom door, but I deal with it by reminding myself I am only human. I get sick and I get tired and everyone needs a break. 10 minutes does not mean I love them less. It means I love them enough to refresh myself so I can be the best me for them.
You are an awesome mommy!
Mom guilt is real. And as you can see, all moms feel at some time or another. The trick is to not let it wear you down.
I know you are an awesome mommy! Don’t forget that.
When you need time for self-care and mom guilt tries to rear its ugly head, remember that you have to take care of yourself in order to continue being an awesome mommy.
Or when you are trying to start your own business and you being to feel guilty because of the time that you are spending on your business. Remind yourself of your goals and how it will impact your child’s life.
Now its your turn. Let me know when you feel mom guilt the most in the comments below.
Rachel | The Secret Life says
What a great post idea! I always love hearing from other mamas trying to do this whole motherhood thing, love that you included so many tips in one place.
Thank you Rachel! Motherhood is fun, but very challenging. It definitely makes it easier when you are doing it alone. Thanks for stopping by!
Looks amazing Toni-Ann! I shared on Facebook and pinned to my group board. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of this post. As a mom feeling mom guilt, I typically feel as though I’m the only one struggling. It is comforting to hear that I’m not alone, and other moms feel the same way I do! Talking about it and helping/supporting eachother as moms is powerful!
Thank you, Mallory! I am so happy that you were able to be a part of this post! It is funny how the idea for this post came. I was talking to a group of moms and we were all laughing about silly things we find ourselves feeling mom guilt about. When I realize that all moms feel mom guilt, I had to share. Especially for new moms. Motherhood can be hard. But like you said, it is comforting to hear you are not alone.