Have you ever struggled with their confidence, whether it’s how you look in a pair of jeans or presenting an idea at work?
As moms, we tend to go harder on ourselves and as a result, our confidence takes a hit.
Luckily, I have Louise to share about how to gain confidence so that you can be a confident mom.
Louise is a personal trainer, weight loss, and confidence coach. She is also a mum to three young children.
Louise’s journey began when she was younger and noticed that she was overweight compared to the other kids at school.
“So, I always felt like I stuck out slightly.”
Does this sound familiar?
As Louise grew up, she used food to support her emotionally. As a result, she gained more weight and became even more self-conscious.
“And I think I struggled the most just because I just felt like I didn’t fit in. And that really affected me.”
Louise eventually got married and had her first child.
That is when she did some self-reflection and realized that she didn’t like that way that she felt.
She hated being in photos because she was so self-conscious.
Even worst, she was trying different restrictive diets at the beginning of the week.
But not making it through the end of the week and feeling like a failure.
On top of that, she didn’t want to pass on her behavior to her young son.
Louise started by working on her mindset.
“I was so focused on trying to change my body and who I was that I didn’t even think about my mindset. And that was one of the biggest things.
I really tried to change was just, you know, trying to have a positive mindset and instead of looking at my body in a way that I didn’t like it and all the things that I wasn’t doing, I wanted to try and see the positive.”
Soon Louise had gained her confidence and lost the weight and now teaches other moms how to do the same thing.
Ways to improve your confidence now
As moms, we tend to be especially hard on ourselves.
We have an idea of looking at ourselves and thinking we should have done more or done better.
Eventually, these negative thoughts set us into a downward spiral because we never believe we are good enough.
Instead of focusing on everything that you are not doing right, focus on the things that you are doing well.
Focusing on yourself is one of the many steps that Louise lays out to improve your confidence.
Stop comparing yourself
For the love of all things holy, please stop comparing yourself.
You are amazing the way that you are.
I get it. You see another mom that seems to always have it together with the perfect lunches, and you barely can get the kids to school on time.
Instead of looking at the perfect mom, and focusing on everything she is doing right, focus on everything that you are doing right.
You do incredible things every day.
Just keeping the kids alive and well is something incredible that you have done right now.
If you take some time, you will see that you do a lot and accomplish more than you think.
When you compare yourself to other moms, you take the light away from yourself.
When you don’t have light, it is hard to see.
Exercises to help improve your confidence
Here is a simple exercise that Louise suggested to help you with shinning the light on yourself again.
“So one of the exercises I often get my clients to do is to sit down with a bit of paper and just start writing the things that not only you love about yourself.
The things that you’re good at, the things that your, you know, that you hold value to you.”
If you are having a difficult time with this exercise, try this:
“I encourage my clients to do is go to their closest friends, the friends that really know them, and ask them, say to them, you know, girls, what do you love about me? What do you see as my qualities?”
Do this every morning before you start your day
One final tip that Louise give to help improve your confidence begins in the morning.
Before you get started with your day, say something positive. As soon as a negative thought comes up, flip it into a positive statement.
“It just lifts your mood. It makes you feel better. And when you start to focus on the positive things, the positive things, you know, they just become more, um, you know, they just become more visible to you.”
A morning routine to help improve your confidence
Having a morning routine helps to set the tone of the day and reduce the chaos.
There are things that you can incorporate into your morning routine to help you improve your confidence.
Get up a few minutes earlier
Louise suggests setting your alarm for 15 minutes before you get started with your day.
“So it just gives you that little bit more time so you’re not rushing around in the morning.”
Don’t hit snooze
Next, you want to get up when your alarm goes off. Do not hit the snooze button.
Hitting the snooze button is a bad habit that you want to stop doing because this sets you up to start your day late, which will get you stressed and in a negative mindset. That spirals you down the road of rushing and panicking.
So what do you do if you have a problem with hitting the snooze button?
“I know it’s tricky, but I want you to just count down from five, so five, four, three, two, one. And just get up, so those excuses aren’t allowed to roll into your head.”
You know those thoughts. “The bed feels so nice.” “I actually have 10 minutes so I can lay here a little longer.”
Instead of giving those thoughts any room in your mind, just get out of bed.
“Now you just get up, and it sets off the activation in your, in your brain. So straight away you’re doing something positive in the morning, you’re doing what you said you were going to do.
So it makes you feel proud. So you get out feeling proud rather than get up thinking, Oh, I should have gotten up half an hour ago when I said I was going to.”
Keep your phone away from you
It is so easy to get up and start mindlessly scrolling through social media first thing in the morning. But resist the temptation.
Starting your morning with the mindless scroll will allow you to fall into the comparison trap.
It won’t take much for you to see someone on your feed and start comparing.
Resist picking up your phone first thing in the morning.
“So really try and just focus on the first 20 minutes of you getting up on you. You know, whether it’s doing some exercise, just having a cup of tea on your own, a cup of coffee on your own, just having some time for yourself just to think about what you want to achieve for the day.
Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? What are your goals for the day? You know, and again, it’s just giving you some time just to slow down, be in the moment of you before the craziness starts and takes over.”
Listen to something positive
While you are getting dressed and ready for the day, listen to motivational YouTube videos or podcasts (like this one).
Listen to something that lights you up and gets you prepared for the day.
When you start listening to motivational videos and podcasts, you start to believe that you can.
You can lose weight. You can control your temper.
Own who you are
For you to have your confidence set up a notch, you have to own who you are.
Owning who you are means being the best mom that you can be. Know what your strengths are, whether it is personal or professional.
And stop trying to be someone that you are not.
If you know that you are not good at baking, don’t stress yourself out trying to make the ultimate Thomas the Train cake for your son’s birthday party.
Please go to a bakery or your local grocery store and buy a cake. It is not worth the stress.
Even if your mom used to make your birthday cake for you every year, it doesn’t mean that you need to do the same for your kids.
“Don’t worry about those things. Step into the things that you’re good at, stand up, be proud, and then you know, and that’s just going to make you feel so much more confident.”
Being proud of who you are is not being arrogant. Being proud of who you are is self-assurance and confidence.
“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself.” Charlie Wardle
Links mentioned in this episode
- Louise’s free Facebook Group – Project Mom
- Lousie’s Facebook Page – Be Your Best
- Louise on Instagram @_louiselong_
03:51 – About Lousie
08:41 – Ways to improve your confidence
13:39 – morning routine to help with confidence
20:22 – Louise’s quick tips and motivational quote
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Related blog post
- 5 Easy Ways to Build Confidence as Parents
- This is Why You Shouldn’t be comparing Yourself to Other Moms
- 10 Things Confident Moms avoid doing
- This is How to Prepare for the Week on Sunday
- How to Quiet The Critical Inner Voice and Preven Self-Sabotage
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