I’m sure you’ve heard it. That inner voice that speaks up whenever we’ve just messed up. Or when your kids just won’t listen. Maybe even when you experience injustice at work. This, my friend, is your critical inner voice.
Your critical inner voice is very good at reminding you what you should’ve done but didn’t. Other times, it reminds you of something you did that you could’ve avoided.
Whenever you have a running dialogue with yourself about how you’re falling short whether at home or at work, your self-criticism is racing right along with you.
How can you quiet that voice before it destroys your self-esteem and confidence?
Follow this 6-step process quiet that critical inner voice.
Analyze the criticisms
Point by point, what does your inner voice say?
Write it down so you can reflect on what you feel you’re doing wrong.
Then, go through one by one and ask yourself, “Is this really valid?” If so circle it. If not, cross it off your list.
You will find that a majority, if not all of the things you think you are doing wrong aren’t valid at all.
Many times we unfairly criticize ourselves due to unrealistic expectations.
Figure out when the criticisms began
For example, if you say to yourself, “You’ll never be successful at anything,” take time to resolve why you feel that way deep down inside.
You’ll likely discover a time when an authority figure was overly critical of you.
Unfortunately, uninformed adults can devastate the self-esteem of little kids around them when they use negative, accusatory, or demeaning words directed at them.
This is why it is so important to deal with yourself so that you don’t inadvertently do the same thing to your children.
Let it go
Release any negative remarks that stem from your early years. Why? Because they simply hold no validity for you now.
You are not the same person as that 12-year-old girl that got told they wouldn’t be successful at anything.
They came from a mixed-up, unhappy, or otherwise unskilled adult who was unaware of the impact of their words.
Don’t let your inner voice keep repeating these false criticisms! They’re not true.
Take an active stance to discard them.
Release yourself from the unhealthy mantras of your past and replace them with positive ones.
Give yourself permission to let go of any negative statement that prevents you from moving forward and being successful in life.
You are capable of doing amazing things, but you have to believe in yourself first.
Start by empowering yourself by omitting this negativity from your life. Whether is people, social media or that critical inner voice.
Acknowledge that self-criticism can be damaging
If you continue to repeat the negative statements, it can be crippling to you and even block your path on your journey to the amazing life you could potentially have.
Realize that no one can function well when being told constantly that she cannot persevere and rise above her struggles.
Running yourself down emotionally isn’t the answer to anything.
So, acknowledge this negative self-criticism isn’t good so that you can stop.
Counter your critical inner voice with your supportive, caring self
Instead of thinking, “I won’t be good at playing the piano,” think, “This is a good opportunity for me to work on learning something new. I’ll embark on this adventure with an open mind.”
In episode 17 of the Real Happy Mom Podcast, Katie calls it rewriting the phrases.
If you have a negative phrase or comment that constantly comes up, replace it with something positive.
Embrace a more encouraging part of you that speaks positively.
Designate your supportive, caring voice as the one in charge. You can learn to be your strongest supporter.
Rather than allow your critical inner voice to get the best of you, continue with your plan full speed ahead.
Don’t quit in the middle of starting your dream business or starting a new hobby.
You can challenge the validity of any criticism simply by continuing with your efforts to accomplish your desires.
Quieting your critical inner voice is one of the best things you’ll ever do.
When you apply this process, you’ll discover a more serene, happy existence along your incredible journey of life.
Go ahead and get started now! You deserve it.