Being a mom is fun and rewarding. But let’s be real. It’s hard.
Then when you start juggling work and other relationships, you can easily get burned out.
On this episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast, I am talking to Jackie Wist about how to avoid burn out as a mom.
Jackie is a mom of 2, a wife and a business coach. Before becoming a business coach Jackie was a registered nurse for 10 years.
A transition happened when Jackie realized that she wanted to help women create the lives that they are proud of and can provide freedom for their families.
Jackie followed her passion and has been coaching moms and podcasting on the Radiantly Raising Podcast.
How can we have a better balance to prevent burn out?
Jackie starts by explaining that we have to give up the idea of perfect balance. You know. 50 – 50.
For instance, you tell yourself that you are going to work for 3 hours on your business and then spend 3 hours with your family.
Maybe your business needs more of your time right now. Then you end up irritable and stressed because of work left undone.
Or your kids need more of your time because they’re sick. When you don’t give them enough time you end up feeling guilty and like you are not a good mom.
This can leave you exhausted and overwhelmed instead of balanced.
When we let go of this unachievable idea of perfect balance, we let go of the stress and ultimately the feeling of not being good enough.
So when it comes to balance, I just feel like we need to completely give up on the idea that we are going to ever feel 100% balanced and instead work on being completely intentional with our time and our energy.
The way to have better balance is through, what likes to Jackie call, purposeful integration.
This is taking the time to make every moment count. And bringing the things in your life that bring you to your purpose.
Balance is waking up and being super intentional with your purpose for that day, knowing full out what your purpose is in life. Knowing your reasons why for that purpose. And creating a plan for how you are going to get closer to achieving that purpose and feel good at the end of the day.
Depending on the time, the season and what is going on in your life, the amount of time that you spend with your family will look different.
What is purposeful integration?
Jackie uses the term purposeful integration often. But what is purposeful integration?
So first of all, I think it’s super to get crystal clear on your purpose in life.
Maybe your purpose right now is to be a stay at home mom and homeschool your little ones.
Or your purpose right now is to start a business as a freelancer so that you don’t have to work 12 hour days anymore.
Or maybe your purpose to be the mayor so that you can make a big impact on your community.
Whatever it is. Make sure you get very clear about your purpose.
But at the end of the day, have a purpose. When you are deeply connected to that purpose, you are able to show up better in your life for your kids and for the people that you are meant to serve.
Once you are clear on your purpose, make sure to be intentional with everything that you do throughout the day.
And that everything aligns with your purpose.
Self-care to prevent burn out
Make sure to do something for yourself every day. As mothers, we tend to deny ourselves of so much.
But take time to do something that you enjoy and brings you pleasure.
If we can make that with purpose and intention, doing something for ourselves every single day, that is going to help us to get into a creative flow. Into a feminine energy that maybe we haven’t connected with because it’s too easy to be on this hustle, hustle, grind mode that we can get burnt out so easily like you’re talking about.
Jackie explains that self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be something as simple as reading a book. Or having a cup of coffee outside. Or meditating.
Taking care of yourself is essential to preventing burn out.
Use celebration to prevent burn out
As moms, it feels like we have an endless to-do list. Many times we put pressure on ourselves because we didn’t get everything done.
And just understanding also that we all have to do lists a mile long and that’s okay. You know, don’t not feel like you have to get everything done off your to do list every single day. It’s just not realistic and it’s okay to leave some things. It is so important actually to celebrate every single thing that you get off of your to do list.
When you celebrate you put yourself in high vibrational energy.
You know. When you feel a “good vibe” or a “bad vibe” on someone you meet? Celebration gives you a good vibe.
Celebrating your wins, whether they are big or small, helps you to take notice of your talents and abilities. And also motivates you to do more in the future.
When you celebrate, you feel optimistic and can fight off the stress that comes with life.
I am popping a bottle right now to celebrate with you. What are we celebrating?
How to get out of the burn out phase
So, you’ve identified that you are burned out. Now you are ready to get out of that funk.
Take time for self-care
We all are there and it can either be a short term thing or a longterm thing, but I think it really comes back to self care. Ultimately taking care of yourself. And I feel like I said, we deny ourselves of that way too much.
Take some time to take care of yourself.
Do whatever YOU like to do. Not necessarily what your kids and husband like to do.
Take some time to do something you enjoy. Having a hard time figuring this out because you’re lost in motherhood?
You have to listen to Katie’s advice.
Identify why you feel burned out
Next, start to identify why you feel burnt out. Really ask yourself some questions.
Am I feeling burnt out because this is not what I meant to do? This does not excite me anymore … What you’re working towards doesn’t excite you anymore. Doesn’t light you up at all.
If the path you are on in your career or business isn’t exciting to you anymore, you may want to consider pivoting. Or completely change what you are doing.
It’s okay if you thought you wanted a certain career or job because of the lifestyle and you don’t like it anymore.
Jackie asked some really good thought-provoking questions.
Is that what you’re meant to do? Is that what lights you up? Is that what you really feel excited about doing?
Jackie suggests finding what lights you up. Really take time to identify that and move towards your passion and not just your hobbies.
Ask for help
Next, ask for help.
We are so independent minded that we sometimes forget that it takes a village, that our tribal instincts or the way that we were built was in tribes, in communities, and the way that society is set up now is that we are supposed to just do everything ourselves. It’s not good for our mental health. It’s not good for our kids.
You don’t have to do everything by yourself. And you can’t do everything by yourself. So ask for help.
Whether it is around the house or helping take for your kids. Even in a Facebook community with other moms, ask for help with the things you may be struggling with.
Ask for help to allow you have time for yourself, to pursue your dreams and goals.
That will help give you time to work on whatever it is that you need to for yourself care or towards your goals or just towards rediscovering and reconnecting with yourself and your purpose so that you can get rejuvenated and feel like less burnt out and more like you go from burn out to break through.
Take messy action
If you can give yourself that time at the end of the day, taking a messy action because as long as you’re moving towards whatever it is that you’re working on, you’re going to get somewhere.
You know they say about how to eat an elephant? You eat an elephant one bite at a time.
So, take action. Even if it is the smallest step. Take one step after another.
Little by little. Even if it is not right or perfect. Take messy action.
But if you simply just do something every day to get yourself out of that feeling, you are going to eventually get momentum. But you have to move. That’s the only way anyone makes impact is by moving and by taking uncomfortable, scary action that is aligned with your purpose is aligned with the intention that you have to set every day, every week, every moment over and over again.