Have you ever looked at your planner and thought, “Why can’t I get this to stick?”

You’re not alone, girl.

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m just not a routines person,” I want to challenge that thought today. Not to call you out, but to gently flip the script.

Because real talk? It’s not you. It’s the routine.

Let’s get into five big reasons your routines might not be working and how to make ones that actually fit your life as a busy working mom.

1. Most routines are built for ideal conditions (not real life)

You know those Pinterest-perfect routines that look amazing if you live in a bubble? Yeah, those.

Here’s the deal: Real life comes with curveballs.

Sick kids
Waking up late
Dead car battery
Power outages
Surprise visits

If your routine doesn’t bend with your real life, it’s going to break.

“Life happens… So if you don’t have a routine that can bend and ebb and flow with you, it’s gonna break.”

Instead, build routines with buffer zones. Think: What’s the minimum version of this routine I can still do on a hard day?

2. You’ve been following someone else’s rhythm instead of your own

Raise your hand if you’ve tried the 5 AM miracle morning only to feel like a zombie by noon.

We all have different energy levels, sleep schedules, and seasons of motherhood.

Here are a few questions to consider:

Are you a morning person right now?
Are your kids letting you sleep through the night?
Does a 10-step cleaning routine even make sense with your toddler attached to your hip?

Instead of copying someone else’s schedule, personalize it:

Shorten routines to fit your season
Batch tasks smarter
Break down routines into micro-steps

“You really need a system that matches your energy, your schedule, and your season of life.”

3. Routines don’t have to be rigid to be effective

Let’s throw out the idea that routines have to be long and structured to “count.”

Some of the most effective routines are super simple:

Morning: Brush teeth, drink water, stretch, check Trello
Evening tidy-up: 10-minute reset in one room
Sunday prep: Look at the week, choose 3 priorities, prep outfits
Bedtime wind-down: Shower, stretch, journal/pray for 15 minutes

“It doesn’t have to be rigid for it to be effective. It just has to be simple and work for your life.”

The key? Focus on what matters, skip the stuff that doesn’t matter.

4. It’s not about perfection, it’s about support

The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to feel supported.

A good routine:

Reduces decisions
Lessens your mental load
Helps you move through the day without overthinking

Here are some examples:

Use a rotating meal plan with three go-to dinners to avoid the “what’s for dinner?” panic
Use a Trello checklist in the morning to start the day on autopilot
Keep a visual calendar so you’re not storing everything in your head

“The right routine doesn’t demand more discipline. It actually helps you so that you need to do less.”

5. The system is the problem, not you.

Say it with me: It’s not me. It’s the system.

If your planner takes an hour a day to use, or your meal plan calls for 17 ingredients and a full-time chef, the issue isn’t your follow-through.

Swap the system:

Replace an overwhelming planner with a 5-minute Trello board
Forget 5 AM wakeups. Use a midday reset or bedtime wind-down instead
Ditch daily cleaning routines for a weekend power hour (or my favorite: the “bathroom bonus clean” whenever you go pee!)

“You are not the problem. You just haven’t had a system that is designed for your life yet.”

You Can Have a Routine That Fits You

And if your head is nodding like, “yes, this is me,” I want you to know help is on the way.

I’ve created Confident Mom Life, a six-week program that helps you build routines and systems that actually work for your life.

Want early access and a surprise bonus? Join the waitlist here.

You deserve routines that support your life, not stress you out.

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