Real Happy Mom

Practical tips and encouragement for moms

The Magic of Routines for Busy Moms

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Do you ever find yourself feeling chaotic and overwhelmed?

Maybe it’s time to implement some good routines. Routines help reduce stress, add structure, and predictability to your day.

Routines allow less decision-making and allow you to think clearly and not overwhelmed and stressed out.

Think of routines as a comfy blanket, keeping you warm and cozy because you know what is coming, you feel more comfortable, you feel at ease.

Plus, routines help you to bring your values to the forefront of your life.

Check out this episode with the routine queen, Ashley, as she shares ways that you can implement routines and make them work for you.

About Ashley

Ashley Brown is a wife, mama of 2, and creator and owner of Routine and Things, which equips women to consistently live their happiest life one routine at a time.

Ashley strongly believes routines are a form of wellness and can be a beautiful springboard for improving your home, yourself, and your life.

She’s on a mission to see as many women as possible live life with ease by starting, maintaining, and enjoying routines!

Connect with Ashley

Links Mentioned

Podcast Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Newsdrop

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Transcript of this episode

Real Happy Mom 0:02
Hey there, I’m Tony and I have an overwhelming passion to help moms navigate motherhood without the overwhelm. I went from struggling with motherhood and losing my identity, to be productive and living out my version of being a happy mom. On the Real Happy Mom podcast, I interview real moms and experts to help you navigate raising children self care, time management, and so much more. So if you’re ready to get rid of the overwhelm, and start being a Real Happy Mom, join me inside the Real Happy Mom podcast. Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast. I am super excited today to have my friend in routine Queen Ashley brown on today. And the reason why I’m so excited is because she is really good with routines, and really getting down to the root of why we need routines and some of the good routines that we need in our lives. Now, if you are a busy mom, whether you are working, or you are a stay at home mom, this episode is for you. Today, we’re talking about what routines are, why they’re so important. And what are some of the must have routines for as busy moms. And then lastly, we talked about how we can stay more consistent with our routines, and how to make them more fun and enjoyable. Because let’s be honest, if they’re not fun, we’re probably not going to do it. So I am not gonna hold you up any longer. I want you to hear what Ashley has to share. So let’s go ahead and jump on into this week’s episode with Ashley.

Real Happy Mom 1:35
All right, Ashley, welcome to the podcast.

Unknown Speaker 1:37
Hi, thank

Unknown Speaker 1:38
you for having me, Tony. And I’m so happy to be here.

Real Happy Mom 1:41
Yes, I am super pumped to have you you have been someone that I have been watching and just listening to on my spare time. So it is fun to finally have a conversation with you and not just be listening. Thank you for coming on.

Unknown Speaker 1:55
Yes.

Real Happy Mom 1:56
So you are known for many things. But before we jump into our topic, I just wanted you to share a little bit about you and what you do.

Unknown Speaker 2:05
Yes, so my name is Ashley Brown. I currently reside in Baltimore, Maryland with my family, my husband and two girls ages three and one. We absolutely love Baltimore. I’m originally from South Carolina, though my husband is from here. And so that’s how we we landed in Baltimore. So if you ever get a chance to visit, you definitely should don’t believe the hype. It is it is a very, very beautiful place. And what I do, oh my gosh. So essentially what I do is I help to acquit women to consistently live their happiest life one routine at the time by helping them to start routines, maintain their routines, enjoy routines, and it is work that I absolutely love just to be able to support women in the living fulfilled lives and in a way that feels, you know, like them aligns with who they are in a very systematic, you know, using routines in a systematic way to add more ease to your every day. I just absolutely love helping women, and especially moms in this in this way. And so that’s just a little bit about what I do.

Real Happy Mom 3:19
Yes, and we definitely share the same passion of wanting to help moms in particular with routines. And in my eyes, you are the queen of routines. So I just want you to talk to us about why routines are so important, especially for us as busy moms.

Unknown Speaker 3:37
Yes. So for teens are amazing and out. Let me just take a step back. Because you might be wondering, well, how did this girl even get into routines. First of all, I’m I’m naturally a routine oriented person. But it was a point in my life where a life looked like craziness. And I really moved, like into a space where I didn’t, you know, know, I had lost sight of myself, the house was super chaotic. And it was at the point where I came home to be a stay at home mom. And so I felt like it was a bit of an identity crisis at that point. But then also that transition, which I thought was going to be super easy from going from being a working mom to a stay at home mom, which it was not at all. It just threw me for a loop. And so at that point, life just started to get dim. And it really affected my mental health in a huge way where I became depressed for some months. And so at a certain point, I knew I didn’t want to stay here. I’m a super resilient woman and a strong woman. And so I prayed because I’m a huge guard girl and I prayed to God to help he said just lean into who you are. And so I know that I’m routine orient so I was okay Actually, let’s get these routines together, girl no more sit in here. You’re you’re blessed. Thanks You know, be grateful. And, you know, I started one routine at a time I really did into a bunch of trial and error, a lot of trial and error. I started to figure out what really helped to retain, feel good, what really helped to retain stake. And so that’s kind of how I’ve gotten to where I’m at. But in terms of routines, what I feel like they do for you, and the ways that they really help you in your life is one, they decrease a lot of stress in your life, because the structure and predictability that they provide is amazing. Being able to know certain steps for how you’re going to get to an outcome ahead of time, right? Being proactive about that is beautiful, because there’s less decision making for you, right, and so when you don’t have to make a lot of decisions, that takes a lot from your mental and you are able to then think a little bit more clearly. And you don’t feel as overwhelmed and stressed in life. So that’s one thing. I also feel like routines are just like that comfy like blanket, like if you have like a favorite blanket, I know I have many. But if you have like a favorite blanket, I feel like routines are like that they keep you warm and cozy. Because you know what’s coming many times like even we can think about in 2020. Even though even right now, even right now we’re still in the pandemic and being an unknown not knowing when things are going to get back to somewhat normal, right, can be scary. But if you have retains a part of your life and routines that really help you thrive, then it it really makes you feel more comfortable. And when you’re comfortable, you’re more at ease, you’re more grounded, and you have a different perspective that can really be beautiful for you to have. And then the last thing I would say that is really helpful as well with routines and adopting them is they really help you to bring your values to the forefront in your life, which I feel like that’s something that I saw very hugely when I was creating routines and just starting them and maintaining them is that my values were always brought forward like my value of wanting to have time with my daughters and my family like that present time I created routines that were able to do that. Wanting to have time with myself right to be able to give to myself, and not just nourish everyone else, but nourish my own soul, I created routines around that and brought that value to the forefront. So routines really helped with that as well just you know, aligning, aligning your actions with what you value. And I think that can be such a beautiful thing for you as a mom. So those are the ways I thought routines really help you

Real Happy Mom 7:49
guys and I am totally with you on all of those. In particular with it being routines being you know, the the structure and predictability that you need for your life, especially right now I think that’s the one thing that’s kind of kept me grounded, because I know at least this is gonna happen. because like you said, with 2020 being what it was it, it was nice to have some routines in place. So that one, I wouldn’t completely lose my mind because it was kind of crazy, you know, being home a lot more than the kids being home because of school. So it did help with that. But I’m just wondering for the moms who really are just getting started or don’t really have any routines in place, like what are some of those must have routines that you know that as moms like it’s kind of universal, like we need these in our life?

Unknown Speaker 8:37
Yes, I would say so I’ll give you five routine categories. I always talk about these categories. And that I think can be really helpful for you to think about as a mom especially in those are cooking, cleaning, children self care and planning. Those are the five routine categories that you want to dive into. I am huge I share with you my my routines, I call them grounding routines. For me, these are the routines that I’m going to do. It don’t matter what’s going on. Like if I don’t do anything else, these routines are going to be in place and are going to continue to thrive because they helped me in my home and my family thrive. And those routines are my bedtime routine for one that’s my self care routine that goes into that category. bedtime routine everything for me. Also my laundry routine. Oh yes, we got to keep that laundry clean and keep some clean clothes right here. So laundry is really huge for me. Tidy routine is huge for me as well. I have a lot of cleaning routines in my in my ground and routines. And then also my kitchen kitchen routine is so so important. And then my children’s bedtime routine as well because I’d like to get them to bed at seven or 730 because then I have more time with myself and what’s out with my husband and his beautiful so Those are grounding routines for me and my home. And so you know, being able to think about, you know which ones those are for you can be really helpful. But I would say those five or 10 categories can are definitely must have.

Real Happy Mom 10:16
Yes, and I’m with you on all of those, I will tell you. So I got the cleaning and children and self care like the implant, the one that I could definitely do better about is cooking. And I talked about this all the time, and I’ve gotten help on that I finally got a friend who’s got my life together. We’re good on the cooking. I’m just thinking about in particular, I know for me, the evening routine, or the bedtime routine is like huge, like when I do it, I like thank my past self in the next day, like, I’m like, thank you, Tony and from yesterday from getting your life together, because my day is so much better. Because it really does kind of like set me up to have an amazing day even when life happens and the curveballs thrown in. So I was just curious, like, what do you do in your event from your team?

Unknown Speaker 11:03
Yes, so my bedtime routine. First is always after I shower, I shower at night. And so after I shower, I also do my skincare routine but but that’s a whole nother ballgame. I love my skincare routine, too. But then after that, I will get into bed. And the first thing that I do is journal, I am a huge journal. I’ve been journaling since I was a little girl. And so that really helps me because I’ll have racing thoughts at night. And when I’m sleep, if I don’t journal many of the times because I’m constantly having things and I’m thinking about nothing, I was just like, naturally, that has come up for me. That’s been for a while. And so I journal to just kind of reflect, release, and clear my head. And then after that I pray I guess I’m a huge guard girl. So I’ll pray. And then after that I meditate. So meditation is has been such a beautiful, like, just practice that I have started to do what I’ve been doing it for over a year now. But meditation has been huge for me and I specifically use the Chopra app, if anybody is interested. It’s an app that you can download on your phone. And it’s super, it’s just so beautiful. It’s just so beautiful. The meditations on there, everything. So that’s my bedtime routine, you as you see, it’s a lot of like, clear in my head kind of just trying to center myself. And also expressing gratitude, which is in my prayer and everything like that. I just think those things are so so vital for me, and it helps me to sleep well at night and to wake up feeling feeling refreshed. So that’s what I do.

Real Happy Mom 12:47
Nice. Nice. Yeah, I it’s funny, because I think I have gotten so much better at my morning routine, like you’re like, my morning routine, just because I know for me like, it’s, I feel like it’s just like, as soon as the kids wake up, like, it’s like Ready, set go in, like madness just starts. And so if I’m not in the right frame of mind, like, I don’t know what’s gonna happen that day. I’m totally with you on the meditation, because that has been a practice that I’ve noticed, like when I do it consistently, yes, it makes it Yeah. So that I am a lot better person. And people actually like me a lot more. So I’m totally with you on that one. And then the journaling. I’m just curious, are there any certain prompts that you use? Or is this just you just kind of, you know, letting it all out.

Unknown Speaker 13:37
I just lay it all out. I’ve been I don’t use, I only had one journal that was journal prompts. And then which were really great, but I just love like, I write the data at the top, I even write the time. And I’ll just start writing like what I did in my day, things has come into my mind, maybe something that, you know, I’m thinking about that I need to let go of and sometimes I’ll just write like a whole list of what I’m grateful for i do i do it just a mix of just what is what’s on my mind, what do I need to let go? What do I want to reflect about what is important right now what do I even want when I look back at this to take to take into account and like to look back on? So those are things that I think about? So yeah, I love journaling is TJ’s if you don’t journal is definitely fine. If you don’t I know like people that don’t journal and don’t think you know, aren’t really into it. But I would say try it because it can be super therapeutic for you.

Real Happy Mom 14:40
Absolutely. And I know like with the pandemic. I remember that was one of the big things people were saying for mental health was like it’s something very cost effective that you could do if you couldn’t get to a therapist. That was a really good thing. So I’m totally with you on that one. Now, I’m just wondering in regards to routines because I know Sometimes it can sound like kind of like, like this is gonna be boring. But routines can be pretty fun and enjoyable though. I’m just wondering what are some ways that you make routines more enjoyable and fun?

Unknown Speaker 15:12
Yes, yes, fun is everything in your routine. If you don’t add fun, yes, your routine will be boring. That is a fact. But if you make your routines fun, they don’t have to be. And that’s one of the huge things I like to stress to anybody creating a routine, make your routines fun. And so for me, specifically, things that I like to do. And these are for a range of routines that I do, but I like to listen to music when I’m doing my routines. I like to watch TV shows, when I’m doing my routine. I love to light candles, or Roma therapy, or even my diffuser, I’ll do that for some of my routines. Letting in light is really huge for me, especially when I’m cleaning that is huge for me. And it makes it fun, because I just feel like that energy from outside, especially if it’s sunny outside. So that’s something and listening to podcast. So definitely, you could turn on this podcast. So I love doing that. And what else do I do talking to my best friend on the phone, I’ll do that sometimes in some of my routines or even family. So those are some of the things that I do. But I really try if my routines can have actions in them, and steps that are really enjoyable for me. Then I tried to do that. So for example, I had been on this huge cake of doing HIIT workouts for exercise. And then I got tired of that. And I was like, Huh, so what I did was I’ve changed that to just doing dance or navvy doing pop sugar fitness on YouTube, their dance workouts, and I’ve been exercising and doing it that way. And that’s really fun for me and my exercise routine. So yeah, making you everything’s fun is everything. So if you can make the actions and steps in your routines fine. Or at least pair your routine with things you enjoy. It makes your routines like that much more enjoyable, and you will feel good about doing them. And it actually will entice you to do them.

Real Happy Mom 17:16
Yeah. And that was what I was gonna ask you next was like, okay, so if you’re making it more enjoyable, you’re probably gonna stick to it. And you’ll find that you keep these routines up versus just doing them for a weekend and letting it go.

Unknown Speaker 17:28
Yes, yes. Yes. That’s a huge part of it. If you enjoy your routines, that is definitely one of the keys to maintaining your routine for sure.

Real Happy Mom 17:37
Yeah, absolutely. Now, I’m just wondering, because I know you work with moms with routines in particular. So for a mom that is listening, that don’t have number things in place, what would you say is the one routine? Okay, start here and then build on that? What would you say that is?

Unknown Speaker 17:52
Ah,

Unknown Speaker 17:53
that’s really hard. That’s a really hard question. Because I we are just also different. So what I usually say is try to you have fun when you have retains, they just might not be working for you. But you’re in a routine, you do something constantly or consistently in your day to day or week to week, but it might not be serving your life right now. So I always say like, take an assessment of your routines, which I have a routine assessment on my website, routine, things calm, that you can definitely take in, it’s free. But I always say if you’re going to start any routine, and you’re like you have routines in your head, and your intuition is like oh my gosh, like I need these types of routines in my life. I say start with the simplest routine, like the one that’s going to take the least amount of effort for you to get up and going. That’s my suggestion. But if you wanted me to really if you’re like no actually just tell me which route to kind of something or like just tell me which routine might be really helpful for me. I would say planning is huge like planning. Planning I forgot to put that in my grand routine that is a huge one for me. I do not go any week without planning because it keeps me sane. It helps me to keep my peace and so I would say start with a planning routine that is one because then you can start to add things into your day like even even after you get your planning routine going you can start to then plan which other routines you want to start so I would say that one

Real Happy Mom 19:23
awesome awesome and I like that too cuz Yeah, planning is is definitely really really huge for me too as well because I feel like if especially when you have a lot of moving parts it’s kind of hard to keep everything together unless you have a plan and going for it. So when we were looking at me like Tony like how do you like work full time part time and do all this like girl The only way to do is this planner right here. I cannot live my life without this thing that in my phone like those two things they like keep me together so I know which way I’m going next. But yeah, I’m totally with you on the planning one. That one is huge. Now Ashley, you’ve given us a lot Really great resources in giving us some good things to get us started with our routine. So I just wanted you to give us either a motivational quote or some words of encouragement for as Real Happy Mom was before we signed off.

Unknown Speaker 20:13
Oh, that is sound this such a good question words of encouragement. Let me do that. Whereas if encouragement First of all, that I want you to know, Mama, that you are doing an amazing job. Like wherever you are, even if you feel like life sucks, right? Because we have those moments where we feel like life sucks. I want you to know you are doing the best you can and you are doing an amazing job. And especially because you’re listening to this today. That means that you are an amazing mom, because you are wanting to get yourself together you are wanting to improve your life. And that is fantastic. So just keep going. Don’t give up and know that you know, me and Tony and I are here to support you.

Real Happy Mom 21:02
Yeah, absolutely. We are definitely here. Now. We are wanting some more support from you and want to connect with you. Where can we find you online?

Unknown Speaker 21:10
Yeah, so you can find me usually I hang out on Instagram. So add routine and things for sure. Follow me there. And then as well as I have a podcast of routine and things podcast that you can check out is available wherever you listen to podcasts. And then if you’re looking for products, resources to help you start, maintain and enjoy your routines, you can definitely check out routine and things calm my website.

Real Happy Mom 21:35
Perfect. And I’ll make sure to include all of those links in the show notes including the routine assessment and the chopper app that you mentioned as well. Ashley, thank you so much. This has been so helpful. I really enjoyed this.

Unknown Speaker 21:47
Thank you Tony for having me.

Real Happy Mom 21:51
Now that does it for this episode of the Real Happy Mom podcast to find the links in show notes. Make sure you head over to Real Happy Mom comm slash 127 for Episode 127. And there you’ll find all the links that were mentioned, as well as a recap of this episode. If you have found this episode helpful, do me a favor, wherever you listen to this podcast episode. Well, in particular on Apple podcasts, leave me a rating and review. This helps me out more than you know. And it lets me know that you’re actually loving what we’re giving you here. And I want to make sure that we’re doing more of that. So go over to Apple podcasts go all the way down and hit the rating, hopefully by star rating and then leave a quick review. It literally takes a few seconds but helps me out so much. That’s it for this episode. Take care and with lot’s of luck

 

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