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One thing that we’re not taught much about is grief.
I honestly, avoid the feeling.
But after talking to Quantrilla on the latest episode of the podcast, I see that it is a normal response.
Grief doesn’t only happen when you lose a loved one. But it can also happen when you lose a job, have been given a terminal diagnosis, or a natural disaster destroys your home.
As much as I avoid the topic of grief, I felt some relief and gain more understanding and an appreciation for grief. In this episode, Quantrilla talks about:
– Her personal experiences with grief
– What it means to grieve well and how to grieve well
– Red flags to look for when someone is not grieving well
– How to find healing when grieving
After listening to this episode again I was smiling and crying because I was able to learn how to sit down with grief and not run away from it.
Listen to the full episode and learn how to grieve well and know it’s okay to grieve.
About
Quantrilla Ard, PhD, is a recent transplant to the Atlanta area along with her husband and three littles. A passionate creative at heart, she has answered the call to encourage women in all stages of life and of various backgrounds through empathy, transparency, and love.
She is a faith-based personal and spiritual development writer and speaker who believes in the power of collective strength, community, and fellowship.
She is an advocate for social justice with a focus on Black maternal and infant health and mortality. You will find her wherever people are sharing stories of triumph.
Connect
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Related blog posts
- How to Live in the Moment to Help You Get Past Grief
- How to Provide Comfort When Going Through Tough Times
- How One Mom Recovered From Pregnancy Loss With Victory
- How to Support A Grieving Mother That Has Lost A Child
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Transcript of this episode
Real Happy Mom 0:02
Hey there, I’m Tony and I have an overwhelming passion to help moms navigate motherhood without the overwhelm. And went from struggling with motherhood and losing my identity to be a productive and living out my version of being a happy mom.
Real Happy Mom 0:15
On the Real Happy Mom
Real Happy Mom 0:15
podcast, I interview real moms and experts to help you navigate raising children self care, time management, and so much more. So if you’re ready to get rid of the overwhelm, and start being a Real Happy Mom, join me inside the Real Happy Mom podcast. Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast. I am so glad that you are tuning in today. Now I will be honest with you that this particular episode is a pretty heavy topic. And I want to do some trigger warnings. And let you know that we do discuss loss we do talk about pregnancy loss in particular loss of a parent. And I want to make sure that you know that so that if that is a topic that is triggering for you that you can go ahead and move on to another episode. So what to do today because that is not what I want to do, too. I really want this episode to help you. If you are going through grief of losing anything in particular, not just a loved one, if you are going through grief from losing your home, through going through grief because of a divorce, losing a friend or family member, whether it be physically they’re gone, or you guys just aren’t dealing with each other anymore. Or even with this pandemic that’s going on, we’re losing the freedom that we once had. Grief comes with so many different things. And that is one thing that I learned through my guest today. Quality, she is going to be really breaking down grief and showing us how we can grieve well. So in this episode, we talk quite a bit, we had some really good conversation, she really was schooling me on some things that I did not know about when it comes to grief, because let’s just be real, like we don’t talk about grief. And we don’t talk about how to deal with it. And so she shares with us in this episode, some of the major losses that she’s had, and how she’s experienced grief with the loss of her mother, as well as when she got married. And then also after losing a pregnancy. She then shared with us how we can actually start to grieve well, like what does that mean? How does that look like in our lives, and some of the kind of red flags to look for if someone isn’t grieving? Well, if that person is you some of the things that you need to be paying attention to, so that you can reach out and get help, because grief is one thing that you are not meant to do by yourself. And then lastly, she shares with us some of the ways that we can do better with grief, and really just kind of learn from grief. Because that’s one thing that I learned from corny is that, you know, grief is a teacher if you actually let it and it teaches us that, you know, we appreciate it something we love something. And I never really thought about it like that. But I hope that you see this today. And I hope this episode helps you with your healing with whatever you are grieving because of something that you’ve lost. So I am going to stop talking and let you hear this awesome episode recording. So let’s go ahead and jump on in.
Real Happy Mom 3:36
Alright, welcome to the podcast.
Quantrilla 3:39
Thank you. I
Real Happy Mom 3:40
guess we were just talking a few seconds ago. And I was telling you I was not going to give up until you were a guest on the podcast.
Quantrilla 3:48
I’m glad I’m so glad you didn’t.
Real Happy Mom 3:50
Yes, because you have a very unique message. It’s a message that I think we need to hear more of because we don’t like to talk about these things. But before we jump into our topic, I just wanted you to share a little bit about you and what you do.
Quantrilla 4:06
Sure. So my name is Quan trula My friends call me corny. I’m also now Dr. ARD, I have had the pleasure of obtaining my doctoral degree in health psychology, and what I currently do is advocate and you know, educate in the arena of black maternal mortality and black infant mortality. So those are the topics that I really tried to engage in, especially in the social media world because that’s where the people are so shared to bring awareness and enlightenment to people on the topic that a it exists. And that be We have to do something about it. So that’s the main thing. I’m also watching And a mom, we just our family just moved back to the Atlanta area. So we are trying to navigate all the things in the midst of a pandemic. We’re also homeschooling. So that’s fun. And so, you know, we just kind of have our hands and several cookie jars. And you know, we’re taking our time as much as we can and, and doing the best as the Lord provides. So that’s a little bit about us or me.
Real Happy Mom 5:28
And just curious, your PhD, what did you get your PhD in
Quantrilla 5:32
health psychology of psychology,
Real Happy Mom 5:34
awesome, awesome. And the reason why I wanted to bring that up is just to make sure everyone knows like, you know, what you’re talking about.
Real Happy Mom 5:42
secret behind
Real Happy Mom 5:42
this, or Star Wars, or Now, one thing that, I think that we’re not taught much about is grief. And I think it’s one of those emotions that we tend to avoid and try to stay away from. But after talking to you, and seeing that this thing is actually a normal response, like grief is something that we all go through, and it’s okay. And it doesn’t necessarily happen when you lose a loved one, right. But it can also happen when you lose a job or get a terminal diagnosis or a natural disaster or a pandemic happens, like, all these different things can cause grief. So I want to first talk to you about what experiences have led you to help others with grief.
Quantrilla 6:25
Yeah, so I’ve had quite a few opportunities to exercise the grieving well process. The first major loss I experienced was, when my mother passed away from a terminal illness, I had just graduated college, you know, life was ahead of me, and, you know, then I have to endure this huge blow. And then I’m an only child on top of it. So, you know, there was a lot of family dynamics that changed, there were just challenges that I did not know how to navigate. And you know, this is right on the cusp of becoming an adult and trying to figure out what my next steps were. So I felt very lost and confused. And, you know, there were so many different emotions. And then on top of that, she was very much my best friend and spiritual mentor. So I had to kind of reevaluate my faith life, you know, after she passed. And so that was a very hard, very hard thing to kind of work through. And honestly, at 40 years old, I’m still working through it, because so much of my life happened without her. Um, you know, I felt like those 22 years just weren’t enough. So that that was the first major loss I experienced. And then, you know, there’s, there’s the secondary grief. Also, just to mention, this that comes along with losing a loved one is, you know, depending on how it happens, there’s, there’s this secondary wave of a fallout that happens, you know, especially when it’s a primary family member, you know, so I had to deal with issues with, you know, my father, he didn’t really know how to, oh, hello, car, he didn’t really know how to manage her loss. And now he’s still trying to take care of me. And so there was a lot of that that was going on as well that kind of add an additional compounding layer of grief on top of that. And that was tough to navigate, as well. So it was the initial grief of loss, and then the secondary grief of dealing with the fallout of her loss. And so, I guess, the next, the next situation I kind of had to navigate was and this is gonna sound really strange, but being married, had a weird kind of grieving effect on me, while I was super happy to spend the rest of my life, my husband, the fact that I had to navigate my adulthood in such a weird way. It really felt odd to leave somewhere that I had finally, you know, place the roots in and kind of become my own person to leave that and then start a new life with someone else. So there was a little bit of a grieving of who I was. And, and leaving that behind, especially in light of not really having a whole deep rooted idea of who I was as a woman because I had lost my mother, right? Right at that little precipice where you’re no longer a child and you become a woman. That’s when I lost my mom. So you It was a lot of that tied into it as well. And then, um, let’s see, around 2014, I had two sons at the time, and my husband and I were kind of debating, hey, should we have more kids should we not have anymore. And in the middle of that debate, I turned up pregnant. And I say turned up pregnant, because there was not an an active decision to become pregnant. Right. And it was a surprise, it was. It was something that we had not planned for. And so we began to make plans. And just almost as soon as we found out, we lost the pregnancy. And that was hard. Because, you know, for for those who understand what it’s like to find out that you are pregnant,
Quantrilla 11:02
for not, and it may not be this way for everyone. But for some of us, there is an instant connection, there is this overwhelming feeling of love and connectedness to this unknown, unborn person that is growing in your body. And it was just is strange as the pregnancy kind of turned up out of nowhere, the loss happened just as suddenly. And it was about a week or two after I found out. I was pregnant, and it was devastating. It was just a shock to my system. And because I had not ever really had conversations with women who had miscarriages, miscarriages, or any other pregnancy losses, I was stunned. I was unprepared. And I just thought, well, I had already had kids. So how could this happened? You know, I was not aware of any, you know, infertility issues, it just, I was completely taken by surprise. And so that took a lot to get over again, a lot to get over. And then the last big thing we experienced, going back to your point that you made before, that loss isn’t just tied to a loved one, we experienced a huge life altering move in the middle of the pandemic. Last year, when we moved from Atlanta, from Maryland to Atlanta, my husband lost his job, suddenly, we had all these issues with tenant who was renting our home, it was just thing after thing after thing. Loss after loss after loss. It literally felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under us. And we were just grasping for something to hold on to. And we did find our footing, you know, we we were like, okay, all roads are leading to Atlanta. And I’m still trying to figure out what in the world happened. So that was a huge loss for me, because I just, we had no plans of leaving Maryland. You know, we were settled in our home, my husband had just got this new job that he lost. I mean, it was just so many things that just happened at the same time. It’s really like I could write a Lifetime movie, I really could. So those were the major losses that I can pinpoint. In my adult life that I really have started to grapple with how do we grieve? And how do we grieve well, and how to help others to do the same. So I know that was a long answer. But
Real Happy Mom 14:05
no, it was good. It was good. It was a couple things I wanted to touch on. Because you said a lot of really good stuff. So the major losses that that you touched on in the last year mother, and then the secondary grief of losing that your mother and then of course, being married and getting to that new life with losing the pregnancy. And then the last one was this huge life altering move in. It’s funny that you say that. I have experienced just a little bit of all this and I wanted to go back to when you talked about, you know, the grief of being when you got married, because that’s one thing. I think we kind of like don’t talk about it, we sweep it under the rug, but I will never forget. I remember the day that we moved back to Florida because I met my husband in Nebraska. Back to Florida. And I remember after our wedding, we were getting stuff ready. In the hotel, and I was like, Okay, come on, let’s go. And he was like, Oh, I’m gonna go Say bye to my siblings. And he’s the middle of seven, right? So he goes and says bye to them. And then he comes back to the hotel room, and he is bawling in
Unknown Speaker 15:13
the bathroom.
Real Happy Mom 15:15
And I felt so bad. I was like, trying to, you know, be a good way to consult him. And he kind of like, pushed me away and was like, No, and that’s when I realized, like, it’s nothing I can do or say that’s gonna make him feel better. I just have to allow him to go through that. And I kind of felt the same way to once we have moved away, because my husband did not want to move back to Tallahassee when
Unknown Speaker 15:35
we moved to Jacksonville.
Real Happy Mom 15:36
And I felt the same thing to like, Well, you know, I’m not with my family. I’m not around my friends, like, this is just hard. And it’s one of those things that I didn’t even like, really have a word to put on it. But once you said that, I was like, oh, my goodness, that was me, too.
Quantrilla 15:52
Yeah. It was crazy. I mean, I didn’t, I didn’t know that that was a thing. I didn’t know, to look out for that. You know, I mean, of course, you, you know, you have this thing in your mind, you’re like, oh, we’re gonna be so happy. You know, we’re all we need. And just the two of us, excuse me, but there is a, there is a distinct separation from who you were before, and who you become as a husband or wife. And I just was, I wasn’t prepared again, I was not prepared for that. And I remember, well, we finally got to Maryland again. So these life altering moves. I moved from Birmingham, Alabama, to be with him in Maryland. And I remember sitting in the tub, and just weeping. And I didn’t know what was wrong. I was like, What is going on? And I went, I don’t know how long I wept. But in my mind, I heard guys say, you know, it’s okay to grieve who you were, it’s okay to grieve the loss of that person. And you know, the separation from family. And these are all things that are kind of like you have to walk through them to connect and cleave to your spouse. And nobody ever talks about that. Nobody ever talks about that.
Real Happy Mom 17:25
Yeah, all I all I see is like team us and Oh, don’t talk about that other part. That’s not so pretty. And I’m glad that you brought that up. Because like I said, I didn’t have a word for it. But now it’s like, clear his day. Like that’s exactly what it was. And then to when you brought up, you know, losing the pregnancy, too, because this is one thing I’ve talked about it before, but not very much on the podcast is I did have a miscarriage between my person second fund. One thing, I feel like I did not handle it. Well, I will be honest, I just remember it was very painful. And not physically and emotionally, it was very painful. And my husband, I could tell he was having a hard time with it. And I just kind of didn’t talk about it. And I just moved on. And I told all my family. I was like, Yeah, I was pregnant, but I’m not anymore. I don’t want to talk about it. And that was it. And when I look back on it, I’m like, like, dang girl, like,
Unknown Speaker 18:23
you get to do a little bit better.
Real Happy Mom 18:28
But that’s the thing. I want to talk to you.
Quantrilla 18:30
Yeah, if you don’t have the words, it’s hard to have that conversation when you don’t have the words. And for many of us, especially for moms of color, we’ve never had that conversation with any family members, and rarely our friends, because it’s such a taboo topic. It’s a personal private thing. You know, it’s, it’s tough.
Real Happy Mom 18:57
And you know, the other thing too, I was going to tell you, the only thing that I was told was like, Oh, these things happen. And I’m like, okay, but it doesn’t take away the hurt and the pain. Like I get it, it happens, but it still is painful. That was really hard. For me. That’s how I was like, I just don’t want to talk about it. And I just pretend like it didn’t happen. And I like literally pushed it out of my mind so that I didn’t have to deal with it, which is not I don’t think that’s like a good way to deal with things. So that’s why I wanted to talk to you in particular, when you talk about grieving well, like what does that mean? And what does that look like to grieve? Well,
Quantrilla 19:31
yeah, so what I have come to experience and what I’ve seen, like walking with others in their grief, is that it looks different for everyone. Right? I think that we had gotten so tied to the fact that grief just meant tears and we being that we really just didn’t give people enough space to find out what grief really looks like for them. And then the other thing is, we always tell people Oh, it’ll get better. Well, listen, grief isn’t just like a visitor, you know what I mean? That comes and stays for a couple weeks and then leaves. Grief is almost like lifelong partner, you know what I mean? there that grief is always with you. It’s it, I don’t. And this is my personal experience, I don’t ever think that grief leaves us. And this is why grieving well is so important. Because if you ignore it, it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger, and it becomes a monster that constantly will eat at you. But if you sit with it, right, you acknowledge, you know, this is how I’m feeling, this is my pain, this is my anguish,
Quantrilla 20:55
that allows you to let grief breathe and expand. It isn’t. It isn’t just a monolithic type situation, grieving is something that, you know, crosses, generations in and ages. And it just is something that we have given a negative connotation. So because we attach it to be negative, we want to get over it, or we want to be done with it, right? We want to put time limits on it, we want to say, Okay, this is the boundary and no further. But we haven’t truly learned to appreciate grief for what it is. and grief is really a teacher, grief teaches you how much something meant to you, right? it illuminates the love that you had in a relationship, or maybe you know, especially for life events, it illuminates the appreciation you have for a job or home, or you know, something you’ve worked hard for. I mean, when you think about people who have lost their homes, the grief is unexplainable, because it’s not just the shell or the building, it’s the loss of the memories, it’s a loss of the accomplishment for many, the accomplishment of actually buying a home, right? So it’s so much more than we give it space to do. And so grieving well really looks like sitting with it, acknowledging it, and allowing yourself to move through the process of grief. And they’re not being in point to it, right? there not be some type of time stamp that says, Okay, you’ve passed grief, one on one, you can move on, to allow it to just be and when it comes in waves, or when it comes in, you know, just sometimes it comes in waves. And sometimes it feels like tsunamis, you know, but allowing grief to do its work, which just to help you remember, and to help you appreciate. And yes, there are some losses that are tragic. And you know, we don’t necessarily want to focus on things that are, you know, painful and hurtful. But even doing that even allowing yourself to remember, is a part of the healing process. For some, it’s a part of the healing process to not ever return to a situation that would cause you that type of pain. But to allow grief to be a teacher, to me is one of the things that we have to do in order to do it well. And whatever it looks like for you, it you have to find out what works for you. Because if we all took grief, and asked, you know, ask different people to describe what it was like, we’ll get as many different answers as we have participants. So there isn’t a you know, quote unquote, way to grieve well, but there are some parameters that we can say hey, this is kind of what it looks like. If you are able to function every day in your in your everyday life. And you are not in a position where you can’t do certain things like parent or wife and and let me qualify this statement. Grief does have levels Okay, so there’s the acute grief right when it is raw, unfiltered, just slapping you upside the head tight grief right? That type of grief is definitely something that you have to just pause and take a moment to deal with. So it’s not to say that you don’t have moments where you just want to curl up in your bed and be there all day. I get that. But what I’m saying is grieving well, means that you don’t allow the grief to consume you. You don’t allow it to govern your life, it is a partner, but it is not an owner. And I think maybe that is the difference that I’m trying to help people discover when we talk about griefing. Well,
Real Happy Mom 25:38
yeah, you said a lot of really good things. The first thing I wanted to touch on and kind of unpack just a little bit is about when you’re saying, you know, we all deal with the differently, we all feel it differently and to grieve Well, looks different for each person. But I know that, yeah, it may be on an individual level, things look different. But I wanted you to talk about some different instances where people are not grieving. Well, like, what does that look like? Are they like, lashing out on people? Are they just staying in their room being depressed? Like, what does that really look like when you’re not grieving? Whoa,
Quantrilla 26:14
hold on, let me close this window is
Real Happy Mom 26:19
no problem.
Unknown Speaker 26:21
Today, right now.
Quantrilla 26:24
So yes, so there are some things of course, you do want to look out for when people are just not not able to manage their grief? Well, some of that is, like I was saying, if they’re not functioning, adjust basic normal capacity, right? If they haven’t showered in a week, if they’re not engaging in things that bring them joy, from time to time. And again, like I said, you know, you have to take that with knowing each person’s personality and that kind of thing, too. I mean, if people aren’t, typically, you know, going out to party or whatever, every night, then, of course, you don’t expect them to party, again, when they’re grieving. So it really does depend on the person, but, you know, look and see if they are engaging in behaviors that are harmful. And not necessarily like, you know, hurting themselves or whatever, but harmful in a way where they’re not able to live their lives, right. So I’m staying in your bed every now and then, because you’re just having a rough day, you know, work, gotcha. But staying in your bed for two weeks, that, you know, say that’s kind of not managing grief. Well, and a lot of times, we manage grief on our own, because we don’t want to burden other people. Right, but we need community, we need other people to kind of send up signal flares for us, like, oh, gosh, it has been two weeks since I’ve answered a phone call, or has been a month since I’ve, you know, shown up at, you know, my favorite place or whatever. So those types of things, conversations that don’t kind of, you know, make sense. conversations that are very dark, and, you know, aren’t laced with some kind of hope. And again, you know, with grief, there is no time limit, but just looking at how this person is conducting themselves every day, because you want to be sure that while they’re in the throes of grief, that they are not crossing over into depression. And of course, at that point, you know, you absolutely need a trained, you know, objective person to come in and assist. And, and sometimes the grief does get to a point where it does lead to that, and you do need to get some help. So there are some some red flags that you can kind of look and say, hey, maybe this is a little more than grief. Maybe this is something we should go see someone about. So yeah, anytime you’re seeing that someone is not really functioning well, you know, even did small things eating on a regular basis. You know, fixing meals for their family or, you know, engaging with their family, engaging with other children. And this is a big one, especially for moms who have other children who have experienced, you know, miscarriage or pregnancy loss. For me, it was kind of a detachment from the children that I did had. And I was like, Whoa, You know, I really need to take a look at how I’m managing my grief. So I hope that answers your question a little bit.
Real Happy Mom 30:08
Yes, yes, no, that was very, very helpful. And you made me think about another thing, which was, there was a conversation I had with another guest on the podcast, because when the pandemic initially happened in, everything was shut down. I think a lot of people were going through some, some of the stages of grief, but they didn’t know that that’s what it was. And at the time of this recording, it will be almost a year since things started shutting down. And I know that we are still kind of grieving the life that we once had. So I’m just wondering how we can find some healing when we’re grieving, especially with something like a pandemic.
Quantrilla 30:52
You know, pandemic is a special situation, right? Um, most of us and I do say most, because, you know, I don’t know if I know of anyone close to 100 years old at this point, but most of us don’t remember the last one, right? So this is a new thing for us. And the absence of, again, being able to do the things that bring you joy, really can set anybody off into a cycle of grief. And, for me, to find hope, in a pandemic, or really, in any situation that is involving some level of grief, is to remember the things that do bring you joy. And I keep saying joy, because it’s not necessarily happiness, right? We’re we’re laughing, and, you know, whatever. But joy is an inherent contentment. And, of course, the difference between happiness is happiness is situational, right? There are things that can make you happy, there are people that can make you happy. But once those things leave, so does the happiness. And so joy is different in that it is a it’s a contentment, that’s not contingent on a person, place, or thing. And so, to me, that’s why I always go back to joy. So to find that, in the middle of a pandemic, or to define that, in the middle of any hard and difficult situation, means that you’re going to have to take some introspection, you know, what are the things that are going to bring me joy, in spite of this pandemic, in spite of this hard thing, in spite of my loss, in spite of my grief, because, again, you know, grief, is it’s not a visitor, you know, it lingers with us, it stays with us. So we have to look internally to say, you know, is there something that I can tether myself to, that will hold me up, that will give me that hope, if we are in this pandemic any longer, or if the pandemic goes away sooner, either way, we have to find something that we can really attach our hope to. And so that can be anything as simple as you know, finding books to read, or, you know, just at least standing outside and letting the sun hit your face. You know, most some people have taken up baking or you know, cooking or writing, you know, there’s so many different ways to explore your creativity or expand your creativity in times of grief and loss is specifically with this pandemic. You know, we have a mixture of physical loss where we’re losing people, you know, emotional loss, because we’re disconnected. There’s, it’s just a mix of mixed bag of grief and loss. But there are ways to move through that in a way to maintain your mental health, your emotional health, your spiritual health, by finding those things that bring you joy, that give you a sense of contentment, regardless of where we are.
Real Happy Mom 34:33
Yes, I am loving all of that. And that is so good, because I’ve never heard anyone breakdown joy like that. And that is helpful.
Unknown Speaker 34:40
It is it is. So
Quantrilla 34:42
it’s like when you know better. You can do better, right? You don’t have the tools, then you kind of feel stuck. But once somebody gives you the tools and the resources, then you’re able to to help yourself you’re able to move forward. Yes, definitely.
Real Happy Mom 34:59
Now, before we signed up, I wanted you to either give us a motivational quote, or some words of encouragement for us Real Happy Mom. Oh, yes.
Quantrilla 35:09
So I am a big proponent of protecting your peace, right? And, and I feel like this ties into grief and loss as well. When you find that thing, when you find either some quiet time, or, you know, painting or whatever it is that that brings you that joy in that contentment, hold on to it. I mean, be selfish about it. Because it’s so it’s difficult sometimes to really tap into that, especially when your heart is broken, you know, it was hard for me to, to begin to reengage with my son, because I was so hurt. And I was so broken about the loss of the pregnancy, it was hard for me to enjoy what was right there in front of me. And it wasn’t like I had an option, those babies needed their Mama. So I had to figure out a way to really allow the grief to move and do what it needed to do inside of me. But at the same time, you know, not detaching myself from the joy that was in front of me. So protecting your peace, to me looks like anything that keeps you plugged in to that source of joy and contentment. And when you see a trigger, that’s going to take you on a sharp left turn, you you cut it off at the path, you know. So that’s one thing I am an advocate for protecting your peace for. And I don’t even want to say it in the way where it says you know, just things that don’t serve you. Because it’s not always about things that serve you. It’s about your mental health, right, it’s about you being able to function and show up in a world as your authentic self, and the things that threaten that. Those are the things that you put away. That’s what I mean, by protecting your peace. Anything that is going to threaten or come between you being in showing up as your authentic self is is something that you should put away. So protect your peace, ladies, mamas protect your peace.
Real Happy Mom 37:37
Yes, and amen to that one. Now, we want to connect with you learn more about you online, where can we find you?
Quantrilla 37:47
Oh, my goodness, I love making new friends on social media. I am on Instagram, as quani boo. And that’s two ends, and boo at the end kewanee boop. And it’s so funny. I don’t know how I got that nickname, but it just kind of stuck. And I don’t think I’m ever gonna change it. That’s Instagram. And then I’m on Twitter. So I I have kind of more of my academic, you know, social justice advocacy side on Twitter. I do a little bit of it on Instagram too. But I’m definitely more, you know, go hard to think on Twitter. And so Twitter is q y ARD Oh, eight. So q yd Oh, eight on Twitter. And then Instagram is kind of more of my, you know, Kumbaya type stuff. So. So I’m happy to make friends on both platforms.
Real Happy Mom 38:41
Awesome. Awesome. And I’ll make sure to include those links in the show notes. Thank you so much for coming on. This has been so so good. I really appreciate it. Oh,
Quantrilla 38:49
thank you for having me. I enjoyed it. I hope I was able to you know, bless somebody with something so
Real Happy Mom 38:57
for sure, definitely. Alright, now that does it for this episode of the Real Happy Mom podcast to find the links in Show Notes for this episode. Head over to Real Happy Mom comm slash wine at 26. That’s the number of this episode, Episode 126. If you go over there, you’ll find everything that we discussed, as well as a cliff note version of this episode. If this is something that you know, would be helpful for another Mom, please, please, please share this with someone that may be going through grief of some type. Because this is a message like I said earlier that we don’t really talk about much but Connie did such a beautiful job of talking about this and making it so that we don’t have to be scared of grief. We don’t have to run away from grief. And we can actually grieve well, so share this with a friend or family member that needs it. If you want to hear more of this please let me know because I want to bring kewanee back but I do need to know if this is going to be helpful for you. You can either send me a message at Hello at Real Happy Mom calm or go over to Instagram and send me a DM at Real Happy Mom. And just let me know like Hey Tony in that episode was really helpful you should definitely do another one. Now that does it for this episode make sure to stay tuned for next week for another full episode. Take care and with lots of love
