Burnout is widespread across the world. From parents to college students, burnout is increasing due to the stress of dealing with the pandemic and its aftermath.
As working moms, we are even more likely to experience burnout. Working moms are 28% more likely to experience burnout than working dads.
In this episode, I will share with you a little about what’s been going on with me lately and answer the following questions:
- What is burnout?
- What are some of the signs and symptoms of burnout?
- What are some ways to get out of burnout?
- What are some tips to prevent burnout?
If you want to learn effective ways to prevent burnout, listen to this episode.
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Transcript of this Episode
For the past two years, moms have been running on fumes due to remote school, working from home daycare closures, economic instability and social isolation. And a recent article in The New York Times report says that two thirds of working parents are experiencing parental burnout. On top of that, there’s another study that says that working moms are 28% more likely to experience burnout more than working dads. So how can you prevent yourself from becoming a statistic? That’s what I’m going to share with you in this episode today. This is the real happy mom Podcast, the podcast for busy working moms who need help with time management and achieving big goals without pulling their hair out. I’m Toni-Ann, a busy working mom like you, that’s gonna walk alongside with you to find harmony with work life and home, so that you can live out your biggest dreams without burning yourself out. Now, if you want to learn effective ways to prevent burnout, stick around to this episode. Well, hey there, I hope you are doing awesome. I am so glad to be back with you for a another episode of The Real happy mom podcast. It’s been a while. All right. Now, let me address the elephant in the room. Now in July, I put out a message saying that I’m taking a break. But I’ll be back. I came back in September thinking that, Oh, I am ready to get back into the swing of things with a podcast and immediately figured out that no, I’m not. And now it’s January. And I’m just now getting back. So to fill you in, there was a class that I was taking with the Navy. It was through the navy war college. And it was a very intense class. It was nine months. And I was getting to the point where I was burning all of the candle of all at the same time. And I didn’t have much left to give. It was like I had to choose between my family work Navy, the course real happy mom, and some other things that I had going on. And I finally got to a point where I had to be honest with myself, and acknowledge the season that I was in and say, You know what, I can’t handle everything, I’m gonna have to put something down so that I don’t end up regretting how I behaved during this time. In particular, with my family, I felt like I wasn’t giving my family enough time and attention. And especially with my marriage, I was not given enough time and attention. And I had to let go of something so that I wouldn’t burn myself out. But even with trying to let go of something so that I wouldn’t get to that burnout stage, I actually burnt myself out. So so so so, so bad. And that is what I want to talk to you about today. Because I didn’t realize how prevalent burnout is, in the world period. I thought it was more so kind of a thing that was happening on this side of the world as far as in the States, because it’s this real big hustle, hustle, hustle culture and, you know, you know, grind all day sleep, when you die kind of thing in, I could totally see where a lot of burnout was coming when you have that type of narrative going on. But what I came to find out is burnout is everywhere. And burnout is happening to a lot of us. And particularly since we experienced the pandemic, there has been actually an increase in burnout. And so today, I want to talk to you about what burnout is some of the signs of burnout, ways to get out of burnout, and then how to prevent burnout. So let’s start out by talking about what is burnout. So when I looked up what the definition of burnout is, I found a couple of things. But this is the one that I found to really resonate and really describe what burnout actually is. And I found burnout is a mental and emotional state that is caused by severe stress and overwhelm. This can be caused by work, home, relationships, school, you name it. So there’s many different reasons why you can be pushed into this state of severe stress and overwhelm those not just necessarily from work, even though work can contribute to it. But it can also be from things going on at home too, as well. And what I found is, especially for his working moms saying yes, when you don’t have the time and energy is one way that we can quickly put ourselves into that burnout state. And then also, overextending yourself on deadlines that are unrealistic. And then lastly, like I say, just doing the most, you’re just doing too much like me. You are trying to be all things to all the people and you show us an overwhelming Stop and push yourself into burnout. Now, burnout can cause you to lose motivation. Because you have low energy where you feel like you can’t get anything done. And if you’re like wondering like I was, it is actual burnout. Here are some of the signs of burnout. Some signs include anxiety, forgetfulness, fatigue, loss of appetite, lack of sleep, lack of focus, lack of energy. These are all the signs of burnout. Now, I will tell you this, there was a period where I was wondering, Am I burned out? Or am I depressed, because it can feel very, very similar. But my really good friend helped me to see that it was actually burnout, not necessarily depression, in that with depression is really hard to kind of get yourself out of that state versus burnout. There’s some things that you can do that you can quickly start to see yourself, get out of that burnout state. Now, if you’re wondering, what are some of the ways to get out of burnout, if you’re feeling like you’re burnt out right now. Now, I will tell you, there are plenty of different things out there. And I’m sure there is several different products and resources, people will try to sell you on to get you out of burnout. But I tell you, it is very, very simple. But it’s not always easy. And it’s a couple of things. First, making a plan, planning how you’re going to get yourself out of this rut. Like I said, for me, it was removing some things off of my plate, because my plate was overflowing. And I couldn’t take care of everything. I made a plan on how I was going to take care of what I could on my plate, and then slowly start chipping away at things little by little until I got out of that burnout state. Another thing that you can do is do something fun. A lot of times when we get burnt out, we feel like we’re just so overwhelmed in it’s just nothing more that you have left to give. But when you do something fun, it does kind of reinvigorate you gives you a new sense of energy, it gives you a new perspective, and allows you to get out of that burnout state a lot quicker. And then lastly, I always like to talk about taking care of your basic needs. So getting enough sleep in the water, and making sure that you’re eating really good foods. So I’ve talked about it before, it’s probably been a while and we need to revisit this topic, but about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And this hierarchy has some basic things at the bottom and builds up to the big things that we need to really be fulfilled and live out our true purpose in life. And you can’t live out your true purpose in life and be fulfilled. If you’re not taking care of your basic needs which asleep, water, shelter, and food. If you’re not taking care of those basic basic needs, there’s no way that you’re going to be living to your full potential. So really taking a look and really like like being critical and saying like, okay, am I really truly getting enough sleep? Am I getting good quality sleep? Am I getting enough water? Am I eating some really good foods in my eating frequently, so I’m not getting hangry throughout the day, really look and see where you are doing not so great, so that you can improve those things. And like I said, get out of that burnout state. Now lastly, I wanted to share a couple of tips with you on preventing burnout. Because now that I’ve experienced that burnout state, I honestly never want to go back there. And I don’t want you to experience that either. Because it was very, very difficult. And thank goodness for a really great family and friends around me to support me to help me get out of that state. But that’s not a place that we need to be in. That’s not where you can operate at your fullest potential. Now, a couple of tips on preventing burnout, first, doing things that you enjoy, this goes back to doing something fun to get out of the burnout. Now when you’re doing things that you enjoy, again, you get excited, you’re happy, you are feeling more fulfilled, and you’re less likely to have that stress and overwhelming feeling. No to practice self care daily. And then this can kind of sound kind of cliche or something that is like Yeah, totally. And I know I know, but truly is really important. really asking yourself like, what do I need right now? What do I need today? That is a very simple question. And it can be different things done on different days for different people. So really checking in with yourself and asking yourself what do you need? Do you need a nap? Do you need a hug?
Do you need some coffee? Do you need some water? Do you need to go pee What do you need right now? Check in with yourself and really ask yourself that question, so that you are taking care of yourself on a daily basis. Number three on tips to prevent burnout celebrate small wins. Now, this is something that I am not that great at doing. But I am definitely trying to do better, especially now that we’re starting a new year. Celebrating small wins is so important. Because a lot of times we can get so focused on the big goal, the big dream, the big thing that we’re trying to accomplish, and we forget about all of the milestones along the way that leads you up to that big goal, dream, or whatever it is that you’re working towards. So celebrating the small wins allows you to one acknowledge your progress that you’re making towards your big dreams and goals, but also, again, gets you out of that state of stress and overwhelm, and allows you to be in celebration, and gratitude. Now, number four for tips for preventing burnout, ask for help. This is so so huge for me. And it’s funny because I use an app called growth day. And in growth day, there is some daily questions that are asked in a journal. I like to go through the daily prompts. And one of the questions is, what is one thing that I can do today and list out ask for help. Try something new. Do something I’ve never done before different things like that. And every single day, I put ask for help, because I don’t ask for help. And I think a lot of times, especially as working moms, we don’t ask for help, because we’re so used to taking care of everything. But it’s so important to ask for help, even if it’s just for something simple. And especially with the kids, when you ask for help, it does a lot of things, it helps you and it helps the kids because the kids get excited about doing something for you. And they feel like they’ve done a really good job or done something that you are impressed with. And then they have this sense in feeling of fulfillment because they’ve done something great for you. And then again, it helps you because you’ve just taken something off your plate. So whether it be at work or at home, find something that you can ask for help for, whether it’s unloading the dishes, out of dishwasher, getting the dishes, put back into the thing after dinnertime, whether it’s taking the groceries out of the car, or even at work, if it’s just asking for someone to cover for you for a few minutes while you go take a walk and take a couple of deep breaths so that you can have some quiet time, so that your mind doesn’t just totally feel like it’s melting down. So like I said, simple things, ask for help. The next one that I have, as far as preventing burnout is exercise. Moving your body is so so so important. And I’m sure you already know this. But even if it’s something as simple as taking a walk, exercise is so important, because a lot of times we forget that our bodies are made to move our bodies are not made to be sedentary and to stay still. And when we exercise, we’re releasing all of those feel good hormones, we’re also getting our bodies moving so that we don’t get stiff and feel all of those aches and pains. So exercise is super, super helpful and important in preventing burnout. Number seven that I have for tips for preventing burnout is giving back or volunteering. And I know sometimes you will think like giving back like how is that going to help prevent burnout. And the thing that I found with giving back or volunteering is that it takes the focus off of you and puts it on someone else. So you are focusing on taking care of someone else or doing something for someone else that I know will give you joy and make you feel good. And it prevents you from getting into your head thinking about all the things you have to do getting stressed out by all the things you haven’t done, and whatnot. So giving back and volunteering is another great way to help prevent burnout. And then the last thing that I had, as far as tips for preventing burnout is managing your stress. Now this one is really, really important because I think as adults, we’re not really good at managing our stress. And the reason why I say this is because you see it so many times like when you’re driving and people having road rage or when you’re at work and people like losing it because you didn’t respond to them the way that they wanted or as quickly as they want it. It’s all these different little things. You see people kind of just like losing it and just blowing up over little things. So finding ways to manage your stress. I think it’s so important in some of them that we We are not as good as we think we are at in, I would definitely say like, take a look and see like how you’re doing with managing stress. Now, I’ll be honest with you, I’ve talked about this before, especially with the pandemic, it really brought a lot out of us. And a lot of us did not manage our stress very well during that time, and created some not so great habits. And I will be honest, and say that I know I created some habits of emotional eating and whatnot. So if you have that same problem where you’re either emotionally eating, or you are withdrawing, putting up a wall, whatever the case is that you do when you’re having stress, like really take a look and see how you can do better at managing that stress. Because that is definitely going to help you with preventing the burnout and feeling of stress and overwhelm that comes with it. Now, that’s all I’ve got for this episode, I really am excited to be back, I’m going to be keeping things a little bit short and sweet here because I want to make sure when I’m bringing you some goodness into that I’m not stressing and overwhelming myself with trying to do things a certain way. Speaking of doing things a certain way, this year, I really am trying to do things my way that has been my theme. And it’s probably gonna be my theme song all year, doing things my way and doing things that bring me joy. And the reason being is because the past few years, I’ve really been focused on doing what others say I should be doing, whether it’s what I should be doing with my podcasts what I should be doing my business, but I should be doing in my career, what I should be doing with my kids. I’m tired of doing what others say I should be doing. And I want to get back to doing things the way that I want to, and doing the things that bring me joy. Now one of the things that do bring me joy is real happy mom and speaking with you. So I definitely will be back for more of these types of episodes. But I want to be honest with you and letting you know that there is going to be a shift and things are going to be a little different. And the biggest shift is I went through a phase and I just wanted to burn everything down in real happy mom. I was just so tired of how things were going. And like I said, I really wanted to do things my way. And the biggest thing that I’m shifting away from is social media. So you will not see real happy mom on any social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, tik, Tok, LinkedIn, all of them real happy mom is not there. Now will real happy mom return to those platforms. I am not sure. But as of right now, and at least for the remainder of this year, I will not be on social media. So you will not be able to interact with me there. The way that you can stay in touch with me is by using the link in the description, there is a link for my free Sunday prep checklist. And this is a checklist that I use to help me every Sunday to get ready for the week so that I will not be feeling the chaos and overwhelm that comes on Monday morning. And I want you to have that. And in exchange for getting that in. Give me your email address, you’ll be added on to my email list. And like I said, I’ll be in communication with you there by sending you something out weekly. And when there’s other fun things going out. You’ll hear about that too. So like I said, if you want to hear more from me outside of the podcast, definitely use that link down below to join the email list so that you can get the Sunday prep checklist and you can hear a little bit more from me outside of the podcast. Now that’s all I got for this week. Make sure you stay tuned for next week for another full episode. Take care and the flat to love