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Making new mom friendships can be challenging. Especially in the middle of a pandemic.
The good news is there are ways to connect with other moms and eventually make new mom friends with ease.
My guest in this episode shares ways that you can start making new mom friends today.
Check out the post below or listen to the episode below to find out how to make mom friends.
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Why is it so hard to make mom friends as an adult?
Being a mom takes a lot of time and energy.
Then when you think about the energy you put into your marriage and keeping up with your home, there’s not much energy left to garnish new friendships.
On top of this, many women don’t feel like they are worthy of friendships. Or reaching out to develop a rapport with a potential mom friend is scary for fear of being judged.
The initial reaction is to think, “Oh, she wouldn’t want to be friends with me.”
But you have to be open and patient.
Many times we get frustrated because the other mom is taking too long to be our friend, but the thing is, it takes time.
We put ourselves out there, and we want the process of becoming friends to happen quickly.
Many times, we put ourselves out there only to not be received in the time that we think it should take, and then we end up disappointed.
Often times the timing is just off. It’s not the right time with life events and what is happening in the world right now.
It’s not you.
So don’t blame yourself or let those negative thoughts get you down.
Some things to take into consideration when making new mom friends
You may have been told that you are too much in the past. Or you have a big personality.
But don’t use that in your introduction to potential new moms friends.
It may seem like a good idea to say something wrong about yourself when you are meeting someone because it makes you more relatable to the other person.
But, it’s actually a major turn off.
The first time you meet someone, you don’t want them to talk badly about themselves because you kind of wonder if they’re talking badly about themselves, are they going to do it about you?
Do they do it about their other friends?
Although it may seem like a good idea, it doesn’t serve you well to talk badly about yourself.
So leave out the negative talk during that first meeting.
Two things to do when you are trying to make new friends.
Now, these two things are not going to have people running up to you wanting to be your friend.
But it will get things started with making some connections that can turn into mom friendships.
The first thing to try doing is smile. A smile can go a long way.
And if you just see someone who’s going through a hard time, your smile can make a difference.
You just have a smile for someone who looks like they need it.
Studies have shown that a genuine smile induces trust, you appear more attractive and confident.
So start smiling.
If you find something about a person that you like, say something.
If I see a girl on the street and I love her shoes, I will tell her.
It costs me nothing to tell her girl, and your shoes are fly.
Giving compliments make others feel good and want to be around you. The next time you are out, try to give someone praise.
Still, having a hard time making mom friends?
If you have tried the advice of smiling and giving compliments, and you are starting to wonder “what’s wrong with me,” here’s some information for you.
The first thing that you have to remember is that usually, what you are thinking that someone else is feeling about you is not their thoughts.
Those are your thoughts. Don’t project onto them what you think about yourself.
Dani calls this false prophecy.
“I call that false prophecy where you are deciding what someone is going to think about you before you even engage with them. And so I think a lot of times we shut off something before it can even happen.”
You have to be patient and keep a positive mindset.
If you are already thinking bad thoughts or the worst that could happen, things will most likely not work out the way that you want them to.
Start by trying to hang out once a week in mom Facebook groups and see if you find someone interesting that you can connect with.
“But just putting myself out there just even that little bit and being vulnerable. You don’t have to tell all your business, you don’t have to give your whole life story.
Just putting that out there. There are people who will be able to, you know, understand where you’re coming from and they’re going to want to connect with you.”
You are worthy of having connections and friendships.
If you don’t believe that you are worthy of friendships, you are putting up a wall and blocking yourself off from some great mom friendships.
Four out of 10 women feel like they don’t have enough meaningful female friendships outside of their family.
So what’s make that number even easier? Two out of five.
So let’s say you have five women in a room. Two of them feel like they don’t have a meaningful friendship or what we would consider a best friend.
And that’s crazy. That’s almost half of a group of people that don’t feel like they have meaningful friendships.
And so if you think to yourself, okay, well wait a minute. If half of these women feel like they don’t have meaningful friendships, we can fix this.
If we communicate with each other and we put ourselves out there, and we feel connect because if half of us are feeling this way, that’s a lot of women who are wanting, who are begging, pleading for these connections.
Places to start finding new mom friendships
So you’re ready to put yourself out there are start making new friends. But where do you start?
Dani suggests starting with MOPS. MOPS is Mothers of Preschoolers.
MOPS is an international program that is usually held at churches across the world.
If your church does not have a MOPS group, go to the website and find a group close to you that you can attend.
I looked online and found one that is within 15 minutes of my home and is held on my day off.
MOPS is a great group to get started with. Everyone in the group is moms of kids around the same age.
If you have older kids, there is MomNext that supports moms that have older children in elementary school.
If you are not up to meeting people in person, try Facebook groups.
There are tons of Facebook groups that you can join that are just for moms. Here are a few groups that I am apart of that I know and love:
- Mom Friends Hangout
- Mom’s Support Group
- A Purpose Driven Mom Community
- I Swear I Love My Kids Group
- Confessions of Professional Moms
You can also try apps like Peanut. Peanut is similar to a dating app.
You create a profile. The app selects potential moms that you could connect with based on your interest. Then you decide if you want to connect or not by swiping left or right.
So, get started today by making new mom friendships.
Let me know in the comments what has been helpful with making new mom friends in the comments below.
Dani is a motivational speaker and runs the website and podcast, Taking Back You.
Taking Back You helps facilitate moms in their journey of trying to figure out how they can work in their dreams with their reality of being a mom.
And how to make those two things work together and so that their dreams can become their reality and they don’t feel like they have to sacrifice one or the other.
Links mentioned in this episode
- Taking Back You
- MOPS – Mothers of Preschoolers
- Moms Next
- Peanut app
- Dani on Facebook
- Dani on Instagram
- Taking Back You Facebook Group
- Other apps to make mom friends:
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