Have you been struggling with negative thoughts are feel like you’re in a rut?
I am here with my friend Sara to help you learn how to transform those negative thoughts and get out of the rut!
You deserve to be happy and your family deserves to for you to get out of the rut. Check out this episode to learn how.
Make sure to sign up for Sara’s workshop happening on May 23rd! Go to themamamiracle.com/workshop to get signed up.
If you are listening past this date, don’t worry. She will be host another workshop again soon.
Sara Muender is a mom of three, the host of the Motivation For Moms podcast, and a certified life coach, specializing in helping moms get out of a rut, breakthrough their limiting beliefs, reach their goals, increase their confidence, and change their life. She’s all California but currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia with her family of five and goofy boxer.
- Website: https://www.themamamiracle.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saramuender
- Podcast: Motivation For Moms
- The Workshop: themamamiracle.com/workshop
- Book – 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think (affiliate link)
- The Life Coach School – Broke Castillo
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Transcript of this episode
Real Happy Mom 0:01
It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for another mommy talk Thursday. And this Thursday, I wanted to switch things up and have a conversation with my friend Sarah here. Now Sarah is a certified life coach who specializes in helping moms get out of a rut, break through their limiting beliefs reached our goals and increase their confidence. Now, Sarah, it was going to be doing all that and more here today on this mommy talk Thursday. And I just want you to know that it is time to get out of the rut. So let’s go ahead and listen to this conversation that I had with Sarah, about another rat and having some major breakthroughs.
Real Happy Mom 0:45
Alright, Sarah, welcome to the podcast. I’m happy to have you. I’m so happy to be here. Thank you proud to be Yes, yes, we have been having some wonderful conversations, and I am super pumped to have you on so we can have even more great conversations. But before we jump into our topic, I just want you to share a little bit about you and what you do.
Yes, sir, I’d be happy to. So I am a mom to three of two little girls and a little baby boy, he’s about to turn one on Sunday, can you believe it, and I am a certified life coach. I’m a breakthrough coach. And I specialize in helping moms get out of a rut and make breakthroughs and really change their life and step into the mom and woman that they you know, they truly want to be like that level 10 version of themselves that that they imagine. So my family and I we live in Atlanta, Georgia, we’ve recently relocated from California. And so it’s been, you know, a huge life transition. But it’s, it’s been amazing. I love it out here. And my business has just exploded lately. I host the podcast motivation for moms. And it’s, you know, I’m sure that you can relate to this. It’s just it’s so fulfilling to connect with the listeners to connect with the moms to hear their stories and struggles to get that validation of like what they’re going through. And, and I really, truly believe that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, you know, we’re more resilient than we really feel at times. And I think that we all need to be reminded of the power that we have to create any change that we want and need to in our lives. Yes, absolutely. And one of the things that I know, at least for me, I’m gonna raise my hand and I’ll put myself out there is some of the the negative thought patterns that that come into our minds that I know, is one of those things that I wanted to hear from you about because it no matter who you are, and how big you get, I really feel like there’s always that little voice in the back of your head that same those little things that you’re just like, please be quiet, like leave me alone. And sometimes we get into those things. So I just want to hear from you about how we can do better about overcoming some of those, those negative thought patterns that we have going on. You’re absolutely right. And the negative thought patterns and those limiting beliefs are the one thing that stops us from everything that we want in this life, whether it’s, you know, we want to like be a certain person, like a better mom or so it’s like the way that we want an intent to show up or the goals that we want to reach. You know, whether it’s losing weight, or having this dream of like writing a best selling book one day or building a business or like, you know, having like our dream house, like whatever it is, it always, always always comes back to what we believe is possible for us. And I think it’s Katie, Byron Katie, who said that our beliefs really are just thoughts that we think over and over again. And it’s you know, sometimes we don’t really realize like, our perception of the world, our perception of what’s possible for us, is entirely optional. And it’s so powerful when you can just start to like, notice how you see the world and how you see what’s possible for you and for your family. And there’s, there’s real power there when you can like start to look at it and go,
can I change this? And the answer is yes, you can. You can absolutely change the way you see yourself, your limitations, your struggles, you know what’s possible. And when you can do that. And when you can create a practice around it around changing your mindset and changing those negative things that you say about yourself, you know, things like it’s hard, or I can’t do this, or
Real Happy Mom 4:54
I don’t know how
Unknown Speaker 4:55
or I’m not worthy when you can create
A real system around changing the thought patterns, then the knots with with time and with practice, like, that’s when you actually start to see things change in your life. And if I have your permission, I’d love to share with you a couple of different models that I use in my coaching practice to help people, you know, kind of like, change their mindset and change their life. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, let’s go ahead and dive on into those. Great, so I got certified through, I didn’t get certified through the Life Coach School, but I do like continuing education through them. And I really think that they’re one of the best in the world. And so one thing that I’ve learned from the Life Coach School, and Brooke Castillo is this self coaching model. And basically what it is, is, at the top of the model, you have your circumstances, and that’s the only thing in the entire model that you can’t control. So you have your circumstances that you find yourself in, you know, whether it’s parenting struggles, or
someone like your spouse isn’t treating you how you want to be treated, or, like you have mental illness or you have, you know, physical limitation, whatever your circumstances, your, you know, financial strain, whatever, you can’t control that. But what you can control is everything else underneath the circumstance on the on the model. And so the next line would be your thoughts. And it’s like the sentences that we string together to make sense of the circumstances that we find ourselves in. So it’s like the story that we create about our circumstance. And that’s where, like you mentioned, those negative thought patterns come in, and they can come in, like subconsciously, is like in the form of habits, because most of our thoughts and beliefs are really just habits that we’ve kind of grown accustomed to thinking, the more we think those thoughts, the deeper the grooves are created in our minds. And so we just like that creates our perception of the world around us. And then right under that on the model is our feelings. And the Life Coach School teaches that our thoughts create our feelings, and that whatever emotional state we find ourselves in, you can always trace it back to your thoughts, or the story that you’re creating about the circumstance. And it’s your feelings that really drive all the outcomes in your life. And when we think about it, like your emotional state, will determine whether you take action or don’t take action. And it’s your emotional state that will determine whether you reach your goals. And so the next part of that model is,
let’s see it was feelings, and then action, I think it’s action and then outcomes. So your feelings affect the actions you take. And then of course, the actions you take, determine the outcomes in your life. And so they can all be traced back to the thoughts that you’re choosing, or even not choosing to think. And what I mean by that is, you know, we have these thoughts, we can’t control the thoughts that pop in our heads, but we can control the thoughts that we choose to focus on, it always starts with awareness. And so let me give you an example of something that, you know, I’ll just actually tell my story real quick, how I kind of got here, and how this played out in my life. So it was 2017. And I found myself in the rock bottom of motherhood. And what I mean by that is, I was so blessed, you know, I have all my needs met, I have, I had two beautiful children at the time. I had, I was married, very handsome man, with a great job, we had this house, and I was finishing my degree at the time, it just so blessed, but at the end of the day, I just wasn’t feeling fulfilled, I wasn’t feeling happy, I wasn’t feeling joyful, I was resenting the struggles of motherhood, because at the time when my girls were little, they were one in three. And, you know, that’s arguably, really hard ages. And I was just like, feeling all the time, like, God, this is so hard, and almost like walking around like a victim to the challenges in my life. And somebody stopped me and told me it was, you know, a friend at the time, she stopped me and she said, because I was complained about something something potty training related or something. And she goes, you know, Sarah, you, you control the tides in your family. And I was just like, Oh, you’re right. Like I know better. I know better. I’m not a victim to the challenges of my life, the challenges and motherhood, I really can make change. And so right then and there, I realized I am a leader in my family. And if something’s not working, I can change it. And it all comes down to you know, this story that I’m creating that life is hard, and I can choose to change that story and change that narrative. And so I start, you know, that was really the beginning of my personal development journey when I decided to make a breakthrough and make a change. And you know what, what I teach in my breakthrough program is that a lot of times, our breakthroughs come in the form of breakdowns. I mean, it’s true, it’s like, it doesn’t always feel like, the skies are partying and like, wow, I’m really making a breakthrough. Sometimes it feels like you’re at the rock bottom, and everything’s a mess, and you have a choice, you have a choice to change things or stay stuck. And what I did was I, you know, immediately started to work on my mindset. And so I kind of I talked about the self coaching model, and how you can use that to coach yourself through any problem in your life, any outcome that you want to change. And in my program, I created another model called the breakthrough model. And it’s, it’s three layers. So imagine, like three bubbles stacked on top of each other. The bottom one is what I call the default level. And that’s where I found myself back in 2017. And from time to time, I find myself back at that default level, that’s just kind of where you’re like, putting out fires all day long, you’re sort of living in default mode, you’re not really living with intention in your life, you’re just kind of going through the motions and kind of letting the wind of life carry you throughout all the struggles of the day, that’s, you know, default level, but you see so much more for yourself, you know, that you’re capable of so much more. And it’s like, so, to make a breakthrough out of that level to the next level. The next level is what I call your SLS level, you know, save our ship, like I need help, I need to create change. And SOS stands for systems organization and strategy. So I know you’re big on this too, I know you’re really big on, you know, we kind of geek out on creating those systems and routines in our life. And
in order to break through to that level, you have to have the intention to physically make changes in your life, or to create systems to support the changes you want to make. So you have to like create a container. And that’s what I’ve created through my, my breakthrough coaching program is this container for people to make change in. And when you’re on that level, the SOS level, you know, you’re starting to see real changes in your life, you’re starting to feel more hopeful, you’re starting to feel like you’re building your confidence, and you’re starting to feel like wow, like this is working, you know, all my problems aren’t gone, but, but I can change the way I see them, I can change the way that I’m a story I’m creating about my problems. And like, I really do feel like I’m in control of my life. And then the next level, to make a breakthrough out of that level, it’s kind of a more gradual transition. But the the next level would be the thrive level. And that’s where you’re like really going deeper, that’s when you’ve created the structure in your life to support the deeper, more lasting long term change. So in my program, it’s we spend the entire last six weeks of the program focusing on making those changes so that you can truly thrive not just survive, but thrive and feel fulfilled, and feel like you can handle absolutely anything. And so, you know, we work on those limiting beliefs that we’ve still been holding on to, we work on the ways we self sabotage, and, you know, being aware of that, and really making those changes. We work on our identity, because it’s a big one as moms, I’m sure your listeners, you know, at times feel like Who am I even anymore, like I don’t even know. So it’s like, you know, getting clear about our identity and getting clear about our values and what’s really important to us and starting to make changes so that we live more in alignment with, with what we truly value. And a lot of times that just starts with with clarity and really making a space in your life to get clear on what your values are and the life that you want to live in the person that you want to be. So that’s kind of how I approach with my clients and in my life personally kind of how, how breakthroughs happen, and how to, you know, really get serious about this personal development journey and making change.
Real Happy Mom 14:21
Yeah, yeah, that all that was so so good. And I’m a huge fan of Brooke Castillo too, as well. So I was glad when you went through the soul coaching model, because I heard about it. And I know I’ve listened to her and she’s talked about it before but I haven’t truly like actually gone through it. Like step by step by step. I usually stay at that first step, that
Unknown Speaker 14:45
Real Happy Mom 14:47
circumstance, because I know a lot of times like for me, the moms that I hear, they’re like, oh, there’s just so much to do is not enough time. Oh, you know, I just I just can’t do it. I just it’s just too much to do and You know, it’s really like the the problems I hear really revolve around time in having to get things done. So definitely using this out coaching model. I know, definitely be helpful. But really going back to the the thoughts that we have, because, like you said, that is kind of where it all stems from, when we are trying to change the outcomes that we have in our life is, is changing the way we think about things. So I just want to use the example of you know, I don’t have time like it’s too much, too busy. Yeah. So if you were, you know, coaching, are you hearing a mom saying that like, Okay, well, what would be the first thing that you say? Like, okay, like, let’s flip that thought and change it to this? What would that be?
Yeah, cuz again, you know, that’s a limiting belief, man. It’s just a belief that you’re choosing to believe it’s just thoughts that you’re choosing to repeat. And it’s like, I tell my daughters who are five and seven, you know, when they say, I just can’t do it. You know, they’re in gymnastics, and they do horseback riding. And sometimes they feel discouraged. Like, they’re not making the progress that they want to make. And they’re like, I just can’t do it. And I remind them, if you keep saying that you’re going to be right, you know, we fight for our limitations, just like we want to be right, because it’s so much easier to stay stuck in the uncomfortableness it’s because it’s familiar. these negative thoughts and patterns that we have, they’re familiar to us, and it’s uncomfortable, and even painful to imagine that maybe we’re wrong. Because what does that say about our life? So far, we had so much more potential like Marianne Williamson says, you know, it’s not I forget exactly how she says this quote, but it’s not our limitations that are not ours. She says our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are more adequate than we could even imagine we are more powerful than we could even imagine. So it’s scary. It’s scary to try to change these thoughts. If we were to stop and tell ourselves by choice, I do have enough time. I have plenty of time. You know, what would that feel like? What would that feel like for that actually to be true? It would feel so liberating and so powerful, and like the potential is, is limitless. One of the biggest books that’s changed my life and really got me started to on my journey is 168 hours by Laura Vander kam, you read it,
Real Happy Mom 17:36
Tony, you know, that one, I’m gonna add to my book list. And I’m gonna make sure I include that in the show notes too, as well.
It’s good. And for podcast listeners, she has a podcast too called 168 hours and what basically the premise of the book is, you have more time than you think.
Unknown Speaker 17:51
And you know, it, when
we think about it is like I forget the effect, where like, if you have a certain amount of time, like a defined amount of time, whether it’s two hours to get something done, or eight hours to get something done, you will fill that time and you will get it done, whether you have eight hours, or you have two hours, you will figure out a way. So it takes intention. And it’s like, with our goals and not having enough time I hear it all the time. teutonia You know, like, I just don’t have time to work out or I don’t have energy. It’s like, no you do, we all have the same amount of time, the people who are super, super fit and make their health and fitness a priority, they have the exact same amount of time as you and I guarantee you, they don’t have any less on their plate. But they’re more intentional about it. They know how to set those boundaries, they know how to say no to the things that don’t really matter. You know, sometimes it’s just as simple as like taking inventory of our time and how much time we’re spending on. You know, mindless things like social media, like the scrolling. I’m not against social media, I use it to connect with people, but I use it very intentionally. And when I find myself gravitating towards it as an escape, you know, the scroll just to kind of escape the problems, the stress in my life. I stopped to go What is my time worth? What could I be creating with this time? Even if it’s just 10 minutes? What can I do to get me closer to my goals in those 10 minutes? You’d be surprised at how much you can actually do?
Real Happy Mom 19:22
Yeah, definitely. Because I tell the story all the time about how it’s like oh, I’m just gonna take a break for like, five minutes and just like get on Instagram and 3040 minutes
Unknown Speaker 19:35
what the heck just happened
Unknown Speaker 19:37
to him like you like wake up from a coma? Yeah,
Real Happy Mom 19:41
I’m like, Oh my gosh, like I was only supposed to do like five minutes and then like 40 So yeah, definitely like definitely I feel like that The theme is getting more intentional. And and I think that that is one thing that has been like really hard for me to grasp but once I finally like understood like What it really means to be intentional, like, I’m definitely starting to see the effects of that. So I want you to touch on that too, because I know that that is one concept. Like I said, that’s kind of hard for some people. When we talk about being intentional with our time and relationships and things like that, like, what does that look like for you, when, when you’re talking about being intentional,
I want to go a little bit deeper on this because of course, you know, I could say like, use your planner, which I do, you know, please my planners and non negotiable, you know, use your planner and create your lists and create those non negotiables. I could definitely coach on that right now. But I just, I feel like, I’m speaking from my heart right now. And I just feel like your listeners need to hear something else. Because they, they they know that already. But a lot of times, the reason why we are not being intentional with our time and our life and how we’re using our time is because we don’t truly, truly value ourselves, we don’t have a lot of confidence in our ability. And so if we don’t think very highly of ourselves, we’re not going to take that action to draw those boundaries with our time. Because we don’t really truly feel like we’re worth the hard work. It takes work, it takes intention. And, you know, we had a conversation before we started recording where it was, like, getting clear on what’s truly important to us. And you had mentioned, you know, there are some things that just aren’t that important to you, for example, you know, getting super involved in your kids like school activities, I’m right there with you, it’s important for me to feel that my kids feel valued and feel like I am seeing them and spending time with them. But I do that in the ways that are the most impactful, not in the volunteering in their classroom necessarily, or taking them to the birthday parties were like, you know, at the end of the day, is this really, truly going to be the biggest impact for us to connect, not saying I’m against those things, you know, there have been years where I was like, no more birthday parties. They’re just like, they take so much time and they’re just, they produce all this junk and waste. And you know, it’s nothing but junk food. And I don’t even know these people, there have been years that I’ve done that and years that I’ve kind of loosened up on that a little bit especially like we you know, we live in Georgia now, where pretty much everything’s back to normal. Like the pandemic pretty much hasn’t existed here. Like, since we moved here, which is just crazy. Because we moved from California, it was like the complete opposite. So people started having I mean, people never really stopped having birthday parties like it parks and stuff. And, and I would be careful. And I would go and we would wear masks and you know we would social distance. But you know, I kind of loosened up on that stuff like after the pandemic just because I knew my kids needed a little connection. But you know, now kind of where I’m at, as I understand the value of my role as leader in my family. And as like the CEO of my family, I understand the value of my time what my time is worth, because I have a business. And even if I didn’t have a business like my, at the very core of who I am, my mental sanity is worth it. So I need to do whatever it takes to protect that to protect my energy, it is so valuable.
Real Happy Mom 23:18
Yes, definitely. And I love how you mentioned that we don’t really value ourselves, because that’s Yes, if we really want to get deep and really get to the root of the problem. Yes, I definitely, definitely see that. And one thing that I know you touch on this, as well as some more things in your breakthrough workshop, which I wanted you to share with us about what we can find in that breakthrough workshop, because I really feel like this is kind of like the just a little bit like the tip of the iceberg of some of the things that you cover. And I know that a lot of the moms listening, definitely could use that. So if you don’t mind, I would love you to share more about your breakthrough workshop and where we can find it and what’s all in there.
Unknown Speaker 24:01
thank you for letting me talk about it. So I’m doing this workshop coming up and it’s, it’s gonna it’s gonna be free. So it’s a $997 value, but I’m giving it away for free and in this workshop is going to be the end of this month. So depending on when we’re gonna release this episode, we’re in May now so at the end of May, I’m going to hold this workshop and I’m going to read do it every quarter or so. So it’ll definitely be available again, in case they happen to have missed it. But I’m in this workshop, what I’m teaching is how to break through those limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a rut and really how to step into that level 10 version of yourself and your life that you dream of because we all the listeners know that they’re capable of so much more, but it’s like how, how so how do you step into that level 10 version of your life, you know, and how to get off the hamster wheel of life because a lot of times you know when People come to me and ask for coaching. That’s where they’re at. They’re just kind of spinning, their wheels are stuck on the hamster wheel. They’re they’re at where in my breakthrough model, what I call like the default level, they’re just kind of going through the motions. So it’s like how to get off that hamster wheel and find true purpose and meaning, and how to finally once and for all reach these goals that you’ve wanted to reach, and how to really, truly be the mom and wife and woman and whatever your role is that you want to be that you dream of being. And you know how to do all these things without making the common mistakes that most moms make when trying to achieve these things, which is setting resolutions, I’m a big fan of not setting resolutions. And instead, there’s a better way, you know, relying on willpower, that is such a way that we self sabotage, or try to rely on willpower, because we know that willpower is weak, we know what doesn’t work, that’s not the thing that’s going to get you to where you want to be. And, you know, not compromising your core values. Because at the end of the day, you know, whether you know what your core values are, or your or you don’t, they’re inside of you. And I show you how to tap into those and start living more in alignment with your core values. And that’s going to just unlock your potential and your ability to achieve so much more in your life and truly be like confident and happy in yourself along the way.
Real Happy Mom 26:25
Awesome. Absolutely. And I am going to be doing the workshop too, as well.
Unknown Speaker 26:28
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I
didn’t tell you how to do it. So like, I’m so passionate about the content, I’m putting so much into this. I’m just this is really going to truly change so many lives. So they right now they can get on the interest list for it because I’m about to actually set it up and like put up the signup page and everything but they can go get on the interest list at the mama miracle calm. That’s the ma ma ma ma miracle.com forward slash workshop. And when you publish this episode, if the signup page is available, then it will be up on that page as well.
Real Happy Mom 27:07
Awesome, awesome. Yes, I will make sure to include that link in the show notes. Yes, for sure. Want to make sure we get on that because like I said, I am going to be doing the workshop too as well. Because I feel like even even if you do feel like you You got it together, you’re not on the default level you’re on the SOS or maybe you’re even on the private level, I still feel like it is a good refresher to to kind of go back on some things. So definitely want to want to do this so that I can get some get some more clarity or remind myself of some of these awesome things. So Oh, thank you so much for sharing this with us, Sarah. Now, any other last words that you have for us moms, or any encouragement before we signed off?
You know, the thing that I really needed to hear when I have been at my lowest is in that includes depression, you know, I struggle with mental health to depression, anxiety, which is not something you can necessarily control, right, like your mental health, but there’s something you can always do about it. And I wish that someone had told me, Sarah, your family deserves for you to do whatever it takes to get yourself out of this rut. Your family deserves for you to be the best version of yourself to be happy to be fulfilled, to show up with joy and bring the joy, you know to stay stuck is just it’s doing the world around you with the service including yourself because you you are worth it to be happy to like your mental health, and your happiness and your joy is so important. And it’s not just for you. It’s for the world around you. Like I always say, you know, when you work on yourself, you make the world a better place you do understand the ripple effect that you have on the world around you now and future generations to come. You know, not just your kids, not just your grandkids, but like your kids and grandkids spouses. Your work now is going to affect them. And it really is a ripple effect. So do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and get out of your rut and really step into the happiest, most joyful version of yourself.
Real Happy Mom 29:17
Yes, yes. Yes, absolutely. Now Sarah, if we want to connect with you or more about you, where can we find you online,
so they can go to my website and sell mama miracle calm. That’s the mama Ma Ma miracle.com or find me on Instagram, which is just Sarah munar. And I also have a podcast too. We
Unknown Speaker 29:38
talked about this podcast sisters.
So I would it would be honored if they would add me to their listening list after yours Of course, listen to this podcast and then come on over and listen to motivation for moms.
Real Happy Mom 29:51
Yes, definitely. So I will make sure to include all of those links in the show notes. Sarah, thank you so much again for coming on. Sharing all this with us. This has been so much fun in so, so good. I needed this.
Oh my gosh, you’re the best. Thank you so much for having me. It’s an honor and it’s, you know, just thank you for the work that you’re doing to help women change their lives. Oh, thank
Real Happy Mom 30:12
you. Thank you. Thank you. Now that is it for this episode. Make sure you head over to Happy Mom comm slash podcast to get the links in the show notes and make sure that you’re signed up for the workshop that is happening very soon now. Make sure you also tune in on Tuesday for another full episode. I’ll be back then take care with bachalo