When my birthday comes around each year, I like to pause and reflect on what the past year has taught me.
This year, one lesson stood out louder than the rest: waiting for things to be perfect has kept me stuck in more ways than I’d like to admit.
And maybe you’ve felt it too. That hesitation. That “I’ll start when…” thought.
Here’s the truth: nothing happens when things are perfect. The magic happens when you start.
The Trap of Perfection
For so long, I told myself I’d wait until everything was lined up before moving forward.
I wanted the right timing, the right plan, the right circumstances.
But you know what really happened?
I stayed stuck.
I delayed launching programs. I put off writing a book. I stayed in jobs I knew weren’t the right fit. And I let overthinking run the show.
“Waiting for things to be perfect is just another way of staying stuck.”
Sound familiar?
Why Messy Action Matters
You’ve probably heard people say things like:
- Do it messy.
- Do it scared.
- Do it wobbly.
It all means the same thing.
Take a step forward, even if it’s not polished, because progress comes from movement. Not from waiting.
So whether it’s your routines, your goals, or giving yourself some much-needed grace, the key is simple: start messy.
“The magic happens when you start, even if it’s small.”
A Birthday Gift: Sneak Peek from My Book
Since I’ve been practicing what I preach and finally writing my book, I wanted to share a special excerpt with you. This chapter is all about embracing your messy side, and it’s inspired by my sister.
Chapter 8: Heel Turn — Embracing Your Messy Side
I used to think my sister was doing the most.
Like… setting boundaries with a whole Beyoncé-level attitude. Blocking people mid-conversation. Switching topics like a politician at a press conference. No explanation, no apology.
And I’ll admit it, I used to judge her for it. I’d be like, Girl. You don’t have to do all that.
But now? Whew. I get it.
She wasn’t being extra. She was being free.
She decided that her peace, her energy, and her mental health were worth protecting. And if that meant people saw her as “the bad guy”? So be it.
That was her heel turn.
If you’re not a wrestling fan, let me explain. In WWE, a “heel turn” is when a beloved superstar (the babyface) decides to flip the script. They ditch the goody-two-shoes persona, turn their back on the crowd, and start doing what they want, how they want. It’s dramatic. It’s jarring. And sometimes, it’s exactly what needs to happen.
Take John Cena. When I first started watching wrestling, he was the ultimate good guy. Clean-cut, smiley, all about hustle, loyalty, and respect. But when he came back for what was basically his retirement run? Different story. The vibe had shifted. And honestly, it was kind of refreshing.
Because sometimes… being “the good one” gets exhausting.
And that’s what I saw in my sister. She used to go with the flow, bite her tongue, keep the peace. But after a while, you could tell … she was bothered. She was burnt out from swallowing her feelings. And one day, she just stopped.
If a conversation made her uncomfortable? She’d change the subject.
If someone brought chaos into her life? Blocked.
If something drained her energy? She was out.
No guilt. No explanation. Just boundaries served cold.
And let me tell you, watching her step into that kind of power changed something in me.
Because here’s the truth: Sometimes, protecting your peace means being the bad guy in someone else’s story.
Maybe that means saying no to volunteering (again) at the school fundraiser.
Maybe it means telling your partner you need one freaking night to yourself.
Maybe it means ignoring a group text, canceling plans, or letting the laundry pile up so you can finally take a nap.
It doesn’t mean you’re mean. It doesn’t mean you’re selfish.
It means you’re choosing you.
And if someone has a problem with that?
Well, maybe it’s time for your heel turn.
Because you don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing peace over pressure.
You don’t have to keep playing the babyface in a story that’s draining the life out of you.
Your messy side, the one that says “nope,” the one that chooses silence over people-pleasing, the one that’s not here for the nonsense, isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
So go ahead. Turn heel when you need to.
Block. Mute. Walk away. Rest. Speak up. Sit down.
And remember: boundaries aren’t betrayal.
They’re a love letter to your future self.
Choosing You
This year, my gift to myself—and to you—is this reminder:
You don’t need perfection to move forward. You don’t need permission to set boundaries.
You just need to choose you.
So if there’s something you’ve been putting off, start small. Start messy. And if someone has a problem with your boundaries, maybe it’s time for your own heel turn.
You are worth it.
Final Thoughts
As I celebrate another year around the sun, I’m more convinced than ever that peace and progress matter more than perfection.
So here’s my invitation: what’s one small, messy step you can take this week?
And if you want more encouragement like this, make sure to tune into the Real Happy Mom Podcast.
LISTEN: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | STITCHER
Links Mentioned in This Episode
Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcast
Have you subscribed to the Real Happy Mom podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do it today.
I don’t want you to miss any upcoming episodes. I plan to add some bonus episodes that you won’t find on this website, and if you’re not subscribed, you might miss out on those. Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcast!
I would be so happy and grateful if you left me a review on Apple Podcast too. Reviews help Apple Podcast to know that this is a podcast for other moms so that other moms can find this podcast. Plus, it makes my day to read the reviews.
Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” and let me know your favorite part of the podcast. I really appreciate any help you can provide.
Don’t have Apple Podcast? You can subscribe to the podcast Anchor, Spotify, Breaker, Castbox, Overcast, RadioPublic, and Stitcher.
