Raise your hand if you could do better with delegating at home?
I’m raising my hand too. Many times I feel like that I can get it all done. But the truth is we need the help and support of those around us.
I talked to my fellow podcasting friend all about delegating to learn what things I should delegating and why I struggle with delegating.
Through our conversation, you will learn that there are two things that hold us moms back from delegating. Then Whitnee debunks these myths and explains why we need to delegate, especially at home.
Then Whitnee shares her 5 step plan to help you delegate so that you can get more things checked off of your to-do list without having to do it all by yourself.
Professional speaker… author… certified coach… Fortune 500 executive… productivity expert… successful entrepreneur… self-care guru… passionate mom and wife… Whitnee Hawthorne is a woman with many hats.
When you meet her, it is clear that Whitnee is a leader at home, in the office, and in her community. She has inspired women’s groups, start-ups, and Fortune 500 companies with her presentations on powerful topics including achieving work/life harmony, improving productivity, increasing employee loyalty and engagement, and helping caregivers thrive in the workplace.
- Blog/Website: https://thesavvyworkingmom.com/
- Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/thesavvyworkingmom
- Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/thesavvyworkingmom
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesavvyworkingmom/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/savvyworking
- Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/thesavvyworkingmom/
- Freebie: https://getaheadmama.com/your-free-gift
- Whitnee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesavvyworkingmom/
- Whitnee on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thesavvyworkingmom/
- Blog: https://thesavvyworkingmom.com/
- Savy Working Mom Podcast
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Transcript of this episode
Real Happy Mom 0:02
Hey there, and welcome to another episode of the Real Happy Mom podcast,
Real Happy Mom 0:06
the weekly podcast for busy working moms to get inspiration, encouragement and practical tips for this journey called motherhood. My name is Tony, and you are listening to episode number 143.
Unknown Speaker 0:18
All right now,
Real Happy Mom 0:19
if you are anything like me, sometimes it is hard to let go into delegate. This is something that I’ve talked about often here on the podcast because as moms, we feel like we were a badge of honor if we are able to do things all by ourselves. And just to be honest with you like it can sometimes be impossible to do everything by yourself. So does my delegating is so important and why I had to have Whitney Come on from the savvy working mom to share with us how we can start to delegate and clear our plate so we can actually get more done. So Whitney is gonna be sharing with us several things, but in particular, and her bicep plan on how we can delegate and do more. She also shares with us how we can work with other people so that they can do things to the standard that we’re looking for. Because let’s just be honest, some of the fears that we have with delegating is that we may not be good enough if we’re letting other people help us, or they may not do a good enough job. And then also sometimes we feel guilty for letting things go and putting it off on other people. But don’t you worry, Whitney is going to help us debunk those myths. And let us know that we can delegate and we are still awesome moms if we do it. Now, before we jump into this episode, I really would love for you to come on in and join us in the Real Happy Mom Facebook community. Here is where I share some more of what we do here on the podcast. But I also have monthly live trainings, where I show you how to use Trello, as well as some other great things to help make mom life easier for you. because let me tell you what, I’m all about systems and routines that are gonna make life a lot easier. So make sure you go ahead and join us over there in the Real Happy Mom, Facebook community. If you go to Real Happy Mom comm slash community, you can go ahead and join us there. So now that we have that out of the way, let us go ahead and jump on in to this week’s episode with Whitney.
Real Happy Mom 2:31
Alright, welcome to the podcast. Whitney. I’m excited to have you.
Thank you. I’m so excited to be here.
Real Happy Mom 2:37
Yes, yes, I am super pumped to talk to you because you are going to be helping us with this thing called delegation. Because let’s just be real. It’s hard to let go Sometimes, though, I’m happy to have you on to talk about this.
Thank you. I’m so excited to talk about it. Because for me delegation is the key to thriving in life, especially as a working mom. Absolutely.
Real Happy Mom 2:59
Now before we jump into that topic, I just wanted you to share a little bit about you and what you do.
Sure. So I My name is Whitney Hawthorne. And I run the savvy working mom. It’s a platform that is dedicated to helping working moms thrive in life. We have a podcast, we have a blog, and a slew of digital courses that are designed to be completed on your time, you know, because has mamas we tend to be very busy. And I also, I run customer support for a fortune 500. So I’ve got a few 1000 people that report in To me, the savvy working mom came about because what I realized after having my first son was that there just are not enough resources out there to support working mothers, I found a lot of resources at the time related to parenting, and a lot of resources to career advancement, but none that really spoke to me as a woman who happened to work and also be a mother. Right. And so that was really the goal that I set out to do. I believe that we need women in leadership positions at major corporations. And the only way that we get there is by supporting moms, through their through their jobs. And so you know, whether that job is running your own company, or, you know, working for someone else, the challenges that we face as mothers being so pulled in so many different directions tend to tend to overlap and the solutions therefore also overlap. So that’s what I’m here to help serve that. Just so it’s clear. I have two littles right now. My son is three and then my youngest my one my oldest son is three and my youngest one is one so he is a pandemic, baby gave birth to him with a pushed with a 95 mask on. But that’s a whole nother podcast, I suppose.
Real Happy Mom 4:50
Yes, yes, no, I love what you’re doing because that I definitely feel you about not enough resources out there for working moms. And that was kind of what prompted me to do real Happy Mom in particular. And I love this story. And I love how you talked about delegating is essential for thriving. So I’m just wondering, why do people struggle with delegating? in particular? Why do moms struggle with delegating?
Yes, I think there’s two reasons for from the women, you know, that I’ve coached and worked with and talk to there’s, it really comes down to one of two things. The first is fear. Fear that, you know, someone’s not going to do it as good as you, or fear that if you give up this thing, right, if you let somebody else do it, that you, you might not be valuable anymore, right? That’s, especially in the work in a work setting. And then the other one is guilt. I think society has set it up, where as women, we’re very valued for what we can do for others, and not who we are intrinsically. And we’re also, you know, it’s also put upon us, especially as Mama’s to be to be able to do it. All right, it’s like, oh, you should be able to do all of the things, that that’s not the case. And so I think there is some guilt that comes along with delegation where you feel bad, like, either you, you’re putting someone else out, or you’re reducing your own value, or there’s just like, it might feel like there’s something wrong with you for needing support. And so that said, it’s usually fear or guilt that stop people from delegating.
Real Happy Mom 6:27
Yeah. Now, I was sitting there like nodding my head, because I know the fear part. Yes. You know, someone not doing it. As good as you is a big one. But I didn’t even think about the part about not feeling as valuable anymore. And then when I thought about it, so what am I Oh, yeah, I could definitely see why I’m kind of holding on tight to some things and not wanting to let it go.
Well, let’s, I want I want to bust these because these are myths. Let’s bust these myths. Right. Yeah, let’s
Unknown Speaker 6:54
Yeah. So with the fear part. So let’s talk about the fear of someone else doing it as good as you because I think you’re a little type A like me, and that is, that’s real, you’re like, what they’re not gonna do like I do it? And the answer, like the fact is, they’re not, they are not going to do it the same way that you do it. But is it going to get done? Yes. And that’s the point. You know, there are, there’s more than one way to scramble an egg, right? Like, I’ll tell you how I make my eggs and I liked them, I put my, you know, I beat them up with the seasoning in a bowl, and then I put them into a pan cold with butter. And then I heat up the pan. And then I stir them slowly over a low heat. And this is how I like my eggs. My husband, on the other hand, may crack the eggs into a hot pan and scramble them while the pan is on. The eggs get scrambled? And can we eat? Yes. And that’s the outcome that we need some days, like some days, I just need somebody to help me make breakfast so I can go do something else. Right. And that’s, that’s what it comes down to is you really have to focus on what is what is an acceptable outcome. And then let that happen. And I will share with you before the end of the podcast, kind of all of the steps that you need to take to delegate because there is a right and a wrong way to delegate. And one of them though, is aligning on what the outcome is, and then being okay with that, because nobody is going to do it like you do. But that is all right, as long as it gets done. Right. And then you know, if we think about the fear of fear, feeling less valuable. delegation actually does the opposite of that, if you do it, right, right, delegation at the end of the day, is meant to free you up so that you can work on the things, the areas where you add the most value, right. And so if you think about in a work setting, especially this is something that I struggled with a lot when I went from analyst to manager. So when I was an analyst, I was valued about the quantity of work I could produce. And let me tell you, you know, being a black woman in corporate America, I was producing five times as much as anybody else coming in early, working late, knowing that I had to work twice as hard to get ahead half as much right. So I was like, let me do all the work. And I did all the work. And I got promoted to manager. And suddenly, you know, my role wasn’t about producing work. It was about encouraging, inspiring and helping others to produce work right. As a manager of people, you really need to lead those people to do more work. And so it was a struggle for me to let go of the amount of work that I had to do. But what I realized was when I stopped trying to be the one to do every single excel sheet and started giving others the opportunity to learn and grow and do these things. I freed myself up so I could do those things like strategic planning, like meeting with an encouraging and inspiring others that really allowed me to shine in the role where I was truly adding the most value. Same thing at home. You know, I think when I when I allow my husband to do the dishes, whether or not he actually washes the outside of the pan because sometimes you know they only wash like the part where they think the food wet I I free myself up, though to hang out and play with my kids and to add, and that’s where I add more value in my home is, you know, I like educational play, I’m very focused on that with my kids. And so like, yeah, I free him, I let him do that, and clean the dishes. And then I’m adding value by, you know, really inspiring our kids. So it’s it really is, you know, if you do delegation, right, you free yourself up to to focus on the areas where you’re going to shine, where you’re going to add the most value. And that’s ultimately what you need to do. When it comes to the idea of guilt. With delegation, do not feel guilty, it is silly to think that anyone can or should do at all, I don’t know where we got this idea, but it’s just not, it’s not real, you should do the things that matter to you. And you should do the things that, that that bring you joy. And you should do the things that you have to do to put food on the table and keep the lights on. But after that, like you really don’t need to do at all. And again, if we focus on the outcome doesn’t really matter how the meal gets done, if it’s nutritious and delicious. It doesn’t if you cooked it awesome. If it showed up at your door, super, if you did it and a drive thru pickup style, great, as long as it is, you know, if it tastes good, and it’s nutritious, then you got it done. And that’s that’s really what matters. And you know, as a woman, you are valuable, you are valuable just for being you. If you’re working mom, then like you are contributing to the economy and raising the next generation. And there’s nothing more valuable than that combination for the world like that is the combination to make the world go round, in a better way. And so delegating will help you to do that. And there’s no reason to feel guilty about it.
Real Happy Mom 11:37
Yes, I love all that. And thank you for making me feel better that I am really contributing to society on a huge level that I didn’t even know about. Because when you said it just that I was like, Yes, Yes, I am. I’m doing all of those things. So you gave given us some of the, the Mythbusters here now I’m thinking about Okay, I’m feeling better, I’m ready to start delegating. But I know there’s some things that I probably should and shouldn’t do with delegating. So I want you to walk us through what are some of the right and wrong things to delegate?
Yes, let’s talk about that. So this is where you start first, you get your mind, right, like we just talked about, like there is nothing wrong with delegating. In fact, there is everything right with it, it is how you thrive. It’s how you deliver you, you know your best. But then there are right and wrong things to delegate. And so there are five questions that I like to ask myself, when I’m thinking about delegating, and that I coach people to the first is Can someone else do this with minimal training? Right? Because you have to put time into teaching someone how to do the thing. And so if they can do it with minimal training, because either it’s a very simple repetitive task, or they’re already an expert in the area, they are they at least they already have experience in the area, then yes, this is something you should delegate. Another thing I like to ask myself is, does this task help someone to learn and grow? Is this an opportunity for someone to get better? Because if that’s the case, then like you can also feel good about giving it to them, and they’re going to want to do it more? The third a little bit goes back to the first one, which is is this a repetitive task? Is this something that someone’s going to do over and over again? Or at least multiple times? Because if so, then yes, it totally makes sense for you to offload that weekly chore or daily assignment, so that you can free yourself up more. If it’s something that you know, they’re going to do once, then it really you have to ask yourself, how much time am I going to spend teaching them how to do this? versus how much time am I actually going to save by having them do it? The next is, do you actually have the time to teach the task? Because to delegate correctly, you are going to have to teach someone how to do it? And so do you have the time to teach it? And the last? The big question is, you know, is this something you should delegate. And what I mean by that is, you should not delegate your shine, right? Don’t delegate the things that are the areas where you really truly want to shine the areas where you need to show up, right? So you know, if it’s in your business, you’re maybe you’re not going to delegate running a presentation, right? Because you want your face to be the face of the business, at least if you’re like me, right? If it’s, you know, in your house, like I’m happy, I love to cook, but I’m happy to delegate that out. It’s one way or the other, so that I can spend time playing with my kids. I don’t want to delegate playing with my kids because that’s where I have the value. Like that’s where I find the most value. And you know, at work, same thing, like I’m not going to delegate, I’m not going to delegate running a meeting with our senior level leaders. Because that is where I shine. That is what I like to do. I like to I like to hold court I like to you know, drive the strategy forward, convince people division, that’s where I shine and that is something I’m not going to delegate the Excel sheets on the other hand Yeah, I’m gonna I’m gonna pass those off now. I’m even though it’s something I used to do, and they think the one pro tip kind of I want to share. After all these questions you ask all these questions to yourself is just, you know, remember that delegation isn’t always about the entire project. Sometimes it’s about a part of the task. We can talk about that more, I think in a second. But that those are the five questions that I asked myself to know whether or not this is something I should delegate.
Real Happy Mom 15:21
Yeah, those were really good really, really good, because I was in there x myself those questions in regards to some of the chores at home. And I was just like, yes, yes, yes. Because I have an eight year old and as soon to be five year old. And one thing I’ve learned from listening to a lot of moms on the podcast is that these kids are very capable of doing things. Like, especially at a young age, like I had one mom who came on, she has 10 kids that range from like, zero to 16, or 17. Yeah, and she was telling me how she gets everybody involved, like everybody has a part to play. And the biggest thing, I think, is the teaching part. And then also, knowing if this is something that you know, you should truly let go of. But those five questions definitely bring a lot of clarity. So I do want to jump into that next part that you’re talking about as far as remembering that it is a part of the test, because that is something that I really want to hear more about what you got there.
Sure. So when we think about delegating, sometimes we really think about, Oh, can I hand this entire project initiative, whatever over to somebody? And that’s not always the case. Right? So let’s take I’ll take two examples. One is like creating a power presentation at work, and the other would be at home doing laundry, right? So I have a three year old. So here, I’m one of those moms to him, like everybody plays their part. So I not the one year old because he just barely started walking. But the three year old, right? Can he put clothes in the washer? No. Like he just may actually, you know, he could, but he can’t sort them. I’m sure if I got a step stool, he could climb up that step stool and throw some stuff in the washer. But he can’t sort them. What he can do is put his clothes into his clothes basket. Right. So if you think about laundry, there’s a whole bunch of steps, right? There’s getting the clothes into the basket, there’s sorting the clothes, there is putting the clothes in the washer, there’s, you know, washing them in the washer, there’s pulling them out of the washer, they’re separating them for you know what goes in the dryer, what doesn’t go in the dryer, there’s getting hanging the things that don’t go in the dryer that’s getting the dry clothes out of the dryer, there’s folding them hanging them, putting them away, delegating the laundry could be giving it to someone to do that task entirely. Like my husband could do every single one of those steps. Awesome. But delegating laundry could also be doing parts of those steps, right? So it could be alright, can you put your dark clothes in this basket and your light clothes in this basket? Right? a three year old is capable of that. And so we can separate that out? That’s a start, can you drag your basket to the laundry room? You know, on on Friday, if I asked you to do it, so then I don’t have to carry the basket there. So that’s another step right that we can pull out that someone can do for you. If it comes to laundry, it’s like hey, can you can you separate the dry cleaning from the non dry cleaning stuff? Wash it and then I’ll come down. And I’ll take it over from there. Because I know what goes in the dryer, what does it go in the dryer, right? You can separate it out like that. So you can take parts of the task and piece it out. Same with a presentation, right, you want to make a presentation. But it takes a lot of time, it takes a lot of time to make a nice presentation. So what can you do, you can create the outline for the presentation and give it to someone else to do. And then you know together right? So you’re delegating a part of the task, you can create the outline, you can make all 50 slides or 20 slides or however many you put in there. And then give it to someone else to do the like tweaking right the little like aligning it that takes forever, but is what really makes something look nice. You can delegate out that part. So you don’t have to delegate the whole presentation. You can take pieces of what it is that you need to get done and give it to someone else to do.
Real Happy Mom 18:45
Yeah, I’m liking that. Because I didn’t even think about even for the presentation part. I’m like, Oh, I thought I had to do that all with me. What do you talk about? But now I see like, yeah, okay, we can break this down. And definitely with the laundry. I’m totally with you on that one. So, yes, I am feeling so much better about delegating, and I’m ready to get started at home and in the business. So this was really, really good.
Awesome, I’m so glad I will share just a couple more things then on. So like you can really just action it. Um, the next thing when you think about delegating is just to make sure that you know when you break it down, which parts you want. If it’s the whole thing you want someone to do or a piece of it that you are very clear on what your ask is, people need to understand exactly what you want from them. And the way that you do that is making sure that you understand how you do what you do, and can clearly explain it to folks. And so oftentimes that means writing up the steps like here, step one through step 10 of how you do this thing. Sometimes it can mean making a video like here’s a quick video of how I do this so that they can refer back to it later. And if it’s a more complex task, it could be writing a playbook. So like here are all the steps of how to do it. If you hit this hurdle, do this thing if you hit that hurdle do that thing. And then you know, lastly is making sure that you do set aside some time to demonstrate how to do the task, if it’s not something that the person who’s supporting you is an expert in.
Real Happy Mom 20:10
And that that’s really good. And it’s funny because it’s immediately when you said, like, making it very clear, I was reminded about this week. So in the Navy, I pretty much feel like I have like a middle management job, like, I feel like no one really likes me right now. Is because I’m like, I’m getting stuff from the top, like, people want me to do these things. But I’m also managing people on the bottom. So they don’t like what I’m saying. So I’m just in the middle of it, trying to, you know, accomplish, whatever it is for both sides. But anyways, I was sent an email to someone to get a specific tasks done by a specific date. And I immediately got a response back that was like, totally like, left field. And I was like, that was I’m not clear enough. Can someone like give me some feedback on maybe I just didn’t spell it out in that is very, very true. Because I’m learning that if I do want to do better with the delegation, I have to get very clear on explaining what I want. Not only the the due date, because I’m really good about telling you, you know, I need it by Friday, close a business. But what exactly do I need by Friday, I close a business, that I like how you said, you know, breaking down the steps, even making a video or having a playbook because one thing I’ve learned with working with really smart people is they’re smart in some aspects, but in others not so much. Sometimes, he’s still got to spell things out for him. So I’m glad for that. protip.
Yes. And you know, the one thing I’ll share about that, too, that could be helpful is people learn in different ways. So a long past life, I used to be a personal trainer. And one of the things that I learned when I was training, folks, is this idea that people learn in different ways. So I would try to explain to someone how to do a squat, right. So for some people, it’d be like do a squat, and they could just magically do it, right. But most people don’t have great forum the first time they try and do a squat after not working out for a long time. And you know, some folks to get them to do it, right, I would have to say, Okay, let me give you some instructions, push your butt back, like you’re going to, you know, like, you’re gonna sit on the toilet, and then actually just sit down and explaining it like that would help them. Other people, they explaining it like that would not help them, instead, they would have to see me do it so that if I, if they watched me do a squat, then they could, you know, within their own body manipulate to mirror what I was doing, other people that didn’t work. And I would actually have to, you know, like, touch them and give them physical guidance on how to do it. And then other people still sometimes that wouldn’t work and what would work for them, which was the most bizarre cuz my brain does not work like this is I would give them a worksheet that explained the mechanics of how to do a squat squat, and they would read it and then they could do it. And so, you know, it’s just this idea that people learn and comprehend information in different ways. And so the more variety you can put into how you explain something until you understand right, how someone really learns best, the the more likely you are going to have quicker quick success and and then comprehending the need.
Real Happy Mom 23:03
And yeah, yeah, definitely. I’m glad you brought that up. Because yes, I, I remember having this conversation even about my son, and how he learns in different ways, and I’m trying to figure out his learning style. So thank you for reminding me about that. I’ll make sure to include that in my delegation, or explaining things when I’m delegating. Because, yes, these smart people who Yeah, they’re challenging me right now. This has been awesome. I’m just wondering if you have any other motivational quote, encouragement for us Real Happy Mom, before we signed off?
look, I just want to say thank you for doing what you do for raising kids for working. Because it this is this is what makes the world go round. Is Us mamas, I really think we are the backbone of society. I know I said it earlier, but I can’t stop saying it because it’s so true. And I don’t think we get recognized enough for everything that we do. It’s like, there we we have children, and we’re raising children. And that in and of itself is an amazing, amazing, albite challenging task that the world needs. Right? The world needs babies, and they need someone to raise those babies. So those babies can then go on and help the world to keep going. And if you’re working, you’re also contributing to the economy. So I just you know, I want you to know that, that you’re doing a lot. And it is it is for the greater good. And that you are that I value you and I hope that you value yourself for what you’re doing. And I feel like you know, talking about delegation, the one thing that I do really want to share is that delegation, it will help you to thrive, it will help you to do more, it will help you to feel better, but also know that just because you have support doesn’t mean it’s easy. So don’t feel bad if you’re like well, I just cleared my plate and I’m still struggling and I still feel challenged. That’s okay because you know what, this whole thing of rate of being responsible for another life is hard. And so delegation, you know, it will help you and the more you do it, the better. Don’t feel guilty about it. But also know that just because you have support doesn’t mean it’s easy and that’s okay.
Real Happy Mom 25:11
Yeah, that is so so good. So good. Now Whitney, if we want to connect with you learn more about you online. Where can we find you? Sure.
I am at the savvy WORKING MOM on Instagram and Facebook. My blog is called the savvy working mom and the podcast is the savvy working mom, Instagram, you know, Lincoln bio, you got everything there. So just go find me on Instagram at the savvy working
Real Happy Mom 25:32
mom. Awesome. And I’ll make sure to include all of those links in the show notes. Again, thank you so much, Whitney, for coming on. This has been so so good.
Thank you for having me.
Real Happy Mom 25:42
for this episode of the Real Happy Mom podcast, make sure you head over to Real Happy Mom comm slash 143 to get the links in the show notes that were mentioned here today. And also, sharing is caring. So make sure you share this with a friend or a mom that you know that could use some help with delegating, because we can’t do this by ourselves. So let’s spread the love now. Make sure you tune in next week for another episode and also on Thursdays for mommy talk Thursday. Take care and with thoughts below.